Saturday, November 7, 2009

Pretend you don't notice him/her/it!

Just keep walking!

That highly irritating "trick or treat" (TRICK!!) cat is still hanging around.

Well, "hanging around" doesn't really tell the TAIL!

IT has snuck into the house now and is sitting on MY blue plaid favorite sofa - the little SNEAK!

I just don't understand why I'M the only one that can SEE it as THERE it sits in BROWN and WHITE with the stupid green HAT ON - the one with the GOOGLY EYES on it that ties under ITS chin! You, know, just look, ole bloggie dearest, YOU can SURELY see the vile beast, can't you....PLEASE!!!!

I'm goona call 911 or something if IT doesn't VAMOOSE soon!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Serenity Now


Once again our sentiments have been hijacked. Look, we do not enjoy having our slumbers interrupted by construction noise overhead. But we deal with it. We move on. We go back to sleep. We do not bark or rage.

What is our secret? Sure, meditation helps. Mantras, cool. But our secret is good old-fashioned sleep. If you slept a minimum of 20 hours a day, as I do, you would be mellow too. Trust me, loyal followers, sleep is your friend.

But on the subject of goodness in general, yesterday, "he" and I saved a little wren or something that had crashed into our windows. We revived the little guy all by ourselves. We are GOOD. How can anyone not LIKE us?

I ask you. And by the way, this bird owes us. BIG TIME.

Master Pip of Pip's Ear

Waterboarding??? That might be effective....

Once more the %$%$#$ rat b*stards started up with the hammerin' and bangin' at an UNGODLY hour THIS morning!

We hate them.

We are pondering what would be the most painful type of TORTURE that could be inflicted on them in order that they suffer one hundredth of the MISERY they have brought on to us!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......
Suggestions will be gratefully accepted.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What are those SOB's DOING up there???


Those rat b*stards upstairs woke me up at an unGODLY hour this morning about 9 AM with the hammerin' and bangin' and droppin' construction project of theirs.

I'm SICK OF THEM and wish they would go back to their old routine of marching around at 7:30 AM with the radio blaring and door slammin'!

Grrrrrrr......Maybe I will sig the "trick or treating" he/she cat on them and she can SCRATCH their knobbly EYES out!

I love my sleep and HATE to have it disturbed!

That is all - return to what you were supposedly doing while I continue plotting and planning

(bang banging hammering ad NAUSEUM continues......)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Pip, Uh,...I don't want to SAY anything but this uh,

"tricker treater" is STILL hanging around outside the door. What should I do? I've tired shooing her/him away but, well, it didn't work. YES, I gave him/her a "treat" - Mars Bar which he/she seemed to enjoy but in a very dainty way and now he/she WON'T go AWAY!

Should I call the Cat Police? I would hate to think they would get rough with the lil dude(ette) as he/she isn't really BOTHERING anyone other than the fact that the neighbors are giving he/she a squirrley look whenever they go by and he/she has developed a peculiar habit of sitting on my morning Tribune and then I can't get it for my, you know, PAPERS!!!!

HELP!

PIP

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Most Esteemed and Estimable Master Pip


We are in receipt of a writ from your attorney, Bear, from which we quote as follows:

"Members of the Association:

Please be aware that my client Master Pip of Pip's Ear blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, etcetera, et cetera, etc., and so on, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda yadda.

Also you are to cease and desist blah, blah, blah, GRRH, GRRRH, GRRRH, YOWLLL, AARGH, #@##$%&*!!!

Furthermore, blah, blah, blah, I ask you, etc., etc., etc., I put it to you, gentlemen, %$#&&^**###!!!!, HRMPH, GRACKLE, SNARK, BIFF, POW...

I call upon all the demons, blah, blah, blah, to witness, and so on and so on blast you all, etc. etc. ##$%^@@!!! the furies of Olympus, never mind the expense, &&*^%$$#%##@!!!!!!

And there are to be no more idiotic tests thank you very much.

I await the favor of a prompt reply.

Yours in amity,

Bear

To which I put my seal of notorious notoriety in perpetual perpetuity,

Old Rumpot of the Bailey"

Well, we had no idea, blah, blah, blah, etc., etc., etc. yadda, yadda, yadda.

Frankly, we were ready to dismiss this writ as the insane ramblings of an overwrought stuffed animal were it not for the high regard we hold for Old Rumpot and the fact that he is the adopted father and mentor of our own attorney, Young Ginblossom also of the Bailey.

Furthermore, Bear's arguments are further enhanced by his impressive size and the fervor of his delivery. Blah, blah, blah, OK, we're really sorry and we didn't mean to get everyone upset, yadda, yadda, yadda, lets forget the whole thing and be friends again.

You may, of course, resume the dispensing of advice, however dubious it may be.

Yours with kindest regards,

X
Y
Z
of the Association

In token of our further estimable esteem and gracious emollients, please accept by separate post a delivery of frozen white chocolate ice cubes each containing an individually steamed trio of edamame hand folded back into their original bean pods courtesy of Neat Treats, Inc., proud sponsors of the Association.

Young Ginblossom also of the Bailey

Friday, October 30, 2009

"Double, DOUBLE, toil and trouble...."


"Quizes, tests and INQUISITIONS...takes one on so many missions....BLINK and STINKY..dink and RINKY!!"

"No more challenge to my sayings, soak your head in BUZZARD shavings!!

Ever more your thoughts will rumble, ....down, down into the jungle!

Now BE GONE, on wings and brooms....leave me to my HAUNTED ruins!!

(hee hee..........spooky PIp has spoken....)


'

The "Fat Man"

The "Fat Man"
We find him strangely intriguing but they won't let us at him. I think they just want to torment us. Life sucks. One of these days me and Bob are going to get him.

This is the sink we hid under last week.

This is the sink we hid under last week.
Me and old Bob came thisclose to being wiped out by a tornado headed STRAGHT to Lakeview! That was a close one!