This is Not My Beautiful House

This is not my beautiful wife, etc., etc., etc.

Dear Reader, look closely at the surroundings. Notice anything. Have I ever been photographed or would I permit myself to be photographed in this "shotgun shack?"

Hah!!! This thing, whatever it is, is clearly an illusion. Move along.

Hey, WHITE BOY!! Get out of my chair!!!

One potato, two potato.....by the time I get to "10 potatoes" -  you better disappear!!

Pip I

Out! Out! Damned Spot!

Whoa!!! Wait a minute!!!!!!

Who is sitting in my chair?

That's better.

Whoa! Its GREAT to be back home!

Sure feels WONDERFUL to wake up from that NASTY nightmare on my own nice little brown sofa.

Hey, I'm HUNGRY - what's a guy got to do to get some FOOD around here???

"WIsh I may, wish I might.....make my wish come true tonight!"

"please take pip home.  No more maps,  no more twinkling sisters, no more bleary eyed astronauts, etc."
That is all.

Pip

The Map

Lots of news to report, Dear Reader, some of which is so incredible you will not believe it. I'm sorry, it's true all the same.

First, the impossible vision I experienced at the end of the last post was none other than my lost lost sister Jujube. When I last heard from her, she wrote heartfelt words of encouragement from Cricklewood, which I had thought to be a suburb of London. Little did I know the nefarious plots, the subterranean deceptions, the, the... But I digress.

Jujube and I were separated at a young age. One day a whirlwind occurred. I landed in the middle of a field in Indiana where I was discovered and adopted by "him" and "her." Where Jujube landed I never knew. I had presumed in Cricklewood.

Anyway, not to belabor the point, shortly after experiencing the miraculous vision of my kid sister, I passed out again. When I awakened, I saw before me the map reproduced above. The most curious thing about the map was that it appeared to be entirely without feature.

Buster the astronaut suggested that it was written in some sort of invisible ink that might be revealed by a chemical reaction or heat. Buster was very excited. He thought it might provide a clue for a way out of this place.

We dipped it in vinegar first, but that didn't work. Then Buster held a match behind it. Lo and behold, the image depicted at the right appeared. Buster was flabbergasted.

"This is it! This is it!" he cried, beside himself with the joy of discovery, or something. Unfortunately, at that moment I was seized by a fit of sneezing, the result, no doubt, of all that vinegar. In one final surge, the pink goop that had been enveloping my wonderful nose - the goop that was the result of the happy juice side effect - the pink goop shot loose and completely enveloped Buster.

Buster was paralyzed, encased in a pink gooey cocoon. The rest of the astronauts jumped to his aid, but no one could get it off. I looked over the map. It appeared to be a star map of the universe.

"We are here," Colby, one of Buster's fellow astronauts, pointed out."

OK. OK. I mean how does that help? I mean, WTF! I know we are here, Colby. I don't want to be here. I want to be there, at home with "him" and "her". And I want to rescue Jujube too. I want to go to Crickewood wherever it is, as long as it is not too far, that is. I mean, I mean.

Whatever.

And who might YOU be????

All of a sudden this dude showed up in the Hut.  He just sort of swirled in on a rainbow!  So far he is just giving me "the eye" but I think he is DEFINITELY up to something!
I wonder why he suddenly shows up - NOW??