Friday, February 26, 2010

Rambo???




OK. Who knew? They say he is a brother or half-brother. Maybe. I don't know. There are a lot of things I don't know. One thing I do know is that cute counts. Cute is where it is at. Cute matters. You can never be too cute.

I have been asked to pass on some advice to this putative "brother." First off, be cute, practice cuteness every day.

Second, listen to everything they say and watch everything they do. You will learn a lot. Remember, knowledge is power. They also think listening to them and spying on them is cute. So how can you lose?

Third, play "fetch" for a minimum of two hours every day. "Fetch" is the game of the gods. It is the great game. You can never play too much "fetch." Jump and run as much as you can. Make them throw your toy until their arms fall off.

Finally, practice the rodent run. There is no more enthralling trait of puppyhood than the rodent run. This is accomplished by running as fast as you can in no particular direction keeping your head and body as low to the ground as possible, finishing with a great flourish of circular running, leaping all out onto a bed or couch or chair, winding up by rolling over and having your tummy rubbed. This, if executed properly, will completely exhaust all your remaining energy. You will need to nap for at least two and preferably four hours before resuming play.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

"Good Ol' Pip"


Some of my readers have been alarmed at my celebration of "Bad Pip." Hey, lighten up, it's only a joke. Heh, heh, heh.

But there is something to it. Sometimes I just have the feeling that "Good Ol' Pip" is whispering in my ear telling me it's alright, and another voice is whispering in my ear ("Bad Pip") telling me it's all wrong. Or is it the other way around? See, that's the problem too. Is it on the wagon or off the wagon? I don't know.

I don't know. In fact, I could write a book about I don't know, but that's a whole other story. But I'm back on track now, fans. I'm bein' who I ought to be, seein' who I ought to see, barkin' when I ought to bark, and all that stuff about peein' and poopin' too, which was all a vicious and slanderous lie in the first place.

Monday, February 1, 2010

"Bad Pip"


I've been goin' where I shouldn't go,
Bein' who I shouldn't be,
Eatin' what I shouldn't eat,
Peein' where I shouldn't pee,
Poopin' where I shouldn't poop.

Been chewin' what I shouldn't chew.
Been barkin' when I shouldn't bark,
Sleepin' when I should be up,
Howlin' when I should be quiet.

I'm "Bad Pip," ladies and gentlemen, and I am insufferably cute. I'm here to entertain you, so sit back and relax and enjoy the show.

Blah, blah, blah, BLAH! Yadda, yadda, yadda, YADDA!

I been BAAAADDDD! BBBBAD TO THE BONE!!!!

hah, hah, hah, hah, HAH, HAH, HAH HAH. BAAAAAD.

The "Fat Man"

The "Fat Man"
We find him strangely intriguing but they won't let us at him. I think they just want to torment us. Life sucks. One of these days me and Bob are going to get him.

This is the sink we hid under last week.

This is the sink we hid under last week.
Me and old Bob came thisclose to being wiped out by a tornado headed STRAGHT to Lakeview! That was a close one!