RX: Nose leather color restorer!

Does YOUR nose change colors during the cold, sunless winter months?  Does it go from velvet black to pasty grey with a tiny bit of pink?

Are YOU embarrassed to go outside and show yourself around the park, building concourse, elevator or underground parking garage?

Do you have to flee from the piparzazzi because you can't bear to have your photo taken - even at Xmas time sitting on Santa's lap?

Do you avoid walking past mirrors, plate glass windows and the like?

Well, if any of these conditions plague your probiscus try Black Cat Enamel Stove Polish!
I know it sounds CRAZY but just try it.  One application with a cotton dabber at bedtime and another one in the morning.  In just ONE WEEK you will notice an improvement in the color AND texture.  You will soon go from a dry, cracked pale beakie to a lustrous, soft and shiny ebony honker that you will be PROUD to show off all over the park and the better haunts of the city and countryside.

Try it!  Money back guarantee if you aren't pleased with the results!!