I mean, who is who here? I know I, Pip, am me. I mean, how could I not be Pip? There is only one Pip and that is me. Why would Pip want to be anyone else? I mean, Pip is Pip.
As for you, Sister Mary Knucklecracker, back off. You will see that it can be proven conclusively that the size of the ear is inversely proportional to the size of the foot and that therefore I, Pip, cannot be related in any fashion to the Bigfoot/Werewolf/Reggie.
Furthermore, the corollary to this theorem definitely demonstrates that such creatures cannot and do not exist.
Q.E.D.
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