Hey, Mr ("Lucky 8") Pip....

"I got a question for YOU!!!

If yer SO smart, what are the winning Power Ball numbers going to be this Friday?"

signed,

"GOTCHA"

HAIR.....whatcha going to do with it????

With the gels, irons, giant rollers, fixatives, sprays, mouses, pins, ionizers, pastes, setting, propane irons, lotions, electric rollers (all one size and graduated sizes) - the WHOLE NINE YARDS!!


Hair! What is it good for???

"And "Inner Eight Ball" says......"

The answer to your inquiry regarding the "being" Sponge Bob and his comatose condition vs. "Bubba Bob" and HIS splendiferously GOOD condition is.........

YES."

Now go away.

Dear Mr. Postman,

To: PIP@pip.com

From: "BEWILDERED"

Dear Sir/Madam:

Can you KINDLY contact your "inner 8 ball" and tell me HOW a bunch of "people" can be all shook up over a "being" who is "neither here nor there" in terms of its LIVABILITY when that BEING who has to be PLUGGED IN so he/she can LIVE at ALL when there is a PERFECTLY WONDERFUL AND *BETTER* "being" RIGHT in the same biosphere who is NOT plugged in and is CLEAN and has a sweet nature yet THAT BEING is constantly IGNORED and VILIFIED???

EVIDENCE:


Here is a photo I snapped of my comatose counterpart:



(I think they should "pull the plug" - don't you???)





On the OTHER mitt, here am I - the very PICTURE of a strong, HEALTHY specimen:












I rest my case!!

Zowee - it was "her" birthday!

Lookit the bee-you-ti-ful flowers she got from "Helen."

"She" *hearts* Helen and thinks she is one of the nicest people "she" has EVER met.

Helen and Cathy are going to a spa in Mexico soon and "she" hopes they have a FANTABULOUS time.

You GO girls!!

EXTRA!! EXTRA!! Read all about it!!

TOWN TATTLER, March 24, 2009

....................................................................................................................................................

WOW! Check out the headline in a SPECIAL edition of the "Evening Standard" that JUST hit the stands!!!

"COME ONE, COME ALL!! Pose your queries to the floppy eared seer!
LEARN about the future, RECONSIDER past slights and memories....its ALL available to you!! Make an appointment RIGHT NOW with "PIP the ALL KNOWING!"
Submit your inquiries by email to PIP@PIPMAIL.COM. Confidentiality guaranteed.

Is it my IMAGINATION or is an "eight ball" hiding

under the rug??
I feel funny....like something very MYSTERIOUS is about to happen......can you feel it??? Can you see it in my eyes?? I feel very POWERFUL all of a sudden!!

Last night whilst dozing through the dark and dreamy.....

WHAT BIZARRE image did I see before me???? Was it man or was it creature????

Was it from a horror feature??? I got the urge to pose a querie......

"Oh, blue haired swami, won't you tell ...will Sponge Bob survive the zombie spell?"

"When midnight comes and the moon is high, an 8 ball's gaze will never lie. Stare into its mystery deep, then all your answer's you will receive!"

Whoa........bloggee what's GOING ON HERE?????????????????????????????????????????????

Craboff breaks OUT of jail. Manhunt is on!

TOWN TATTLER, March 14, 2009

..........................................................................................................................

"Area trillionaire, Ebenezer Craboff, after spending PART of his first night in the Snail Heights County jail, using his handy pocket knife burst through the cell wall last night, fleeing into the hillside."

It seems that while he had a pleasant afternoon wallowing in the jail hot tub, upon sighting his assigned cell and first meal - he fainted DEAD AWAY.

It seems that his cell had a hideous CONFLICTING color scheme (!!) and the FOOD, something known as "Footsie Loaf," was sitting for him on his small FOOT LOCKER! Long considered the "perfect food" by prison officials, "Footsie Loaf" is Very economical to prepare and it walks directly to the prisoner's jail cell (what a cost savings!)
The prisoner simply bites off a HUNK at each meal. GOOD NEWS: A typical "loaf' lasts a month and comes in 3 handy sizes "LARGE", "HUGE" and "FUGGETABOUT IT????)

(Blogee, I think someone is badly in need of a PEDICURE here, what to you think??)

Local financial advisor, Ebenezer Craboff, jailed!

TOWN TATTLER, MARCH 13, 2009
...............................................................................................................................................................

"Ebenezer Craboff, area financial wunderkind and guru, was sentenced to THREE lifetimes in jail for running a PONZI scheme which swindled some of Snail Heights most prominent and toniest residents.

At his hearing yesterday in the Snail Height Courthouse, many of the victims (those that were able to walk...)hurled abuse and invective at him as he strolled into the courtroom with his mouthpiece, er, ATTORNEY, Pip S. Ear, esquire.

A tepid apology was offered to those present but the mood was so violent that the Judge had Herr Craboff quickly escorted from the Courthouse to the Snail Heights jail where the defendant would spend his first night of MANY to come.

After a brief "checking in" period, Herr Craboff retreated to the jail hot tub for an afternoon of quiet meditation....and PLANNING.... (What's he up to???)

Update: Auntie Dee Dee

She's feeling great but still has an infection in her blood that they are fighting aggressively. When they knock it out she will move on to a rehab facility.
She's having chicken, carrots, and sherbet for dessert (WHAT no liver - no WONDER she is sick!)
'still loving her Mozart cd!

Ahoy bloggees!

Sorry we've been away so much but my aunt Dee Dee has been sick and "they" have been watching over her.

Hopefully we'll all get back to normal in the near future.

Thanks, the Pipster

Whoa! Check me out!

I went out a few times a week ago and it was REAL COLD.....so I grew about 14 new layers of HAIR to protect me lest I get too chilled!

"They" call me the "wooly bear."

Do you agree?

Consultation regarding "Spongebob" is over!

SNAIL HEIGHTS BULLETIN, March 1, 2009
.........................................................................................................................................................

"Prominent area physicians, "Dr M & M and Dr Monkey L. Frogg have ended their week long conference (hic!) and have announced their conclusions regarding the ongoing health crisis of long time "Pip" companion and mentor, "Sponge Bob."

As you MAY remember, he REMAINS in a zombie-like coma and, regardless, of the MANY treatements he has received to date - his condition is unchanged.

After pouring (!) over the results of all the many tests (see below, blogee dear) their definitive conclusion is that, in layman's terms, "WTF????"

When reporters inquired as to EXACTLY what does that MEAN they responded that they don't have the SLIGHTEST idea what is wrong with him and GIVE UP on trying to figure it out as its giving them a group migraine.

When pursued for more information, Dr M & M did comment that the "only hope" for "Bob" lies in the "wisdom of the east" and mentioned that a world famous psychiatrist, Dr. I.M. Strange, MIGHT be able to get to the bottom of the problem but it would require carrying him to Dr. Strange's SANITARIUM which is located high up on Mt. Pointless in the Swiss Alps. It seems that Dr. Strange has perfected a new, and highly CONTROVERSIAL procedure for dealing with long term UNRESPONSIVE patients. The exact procedure remains a SECRET but an "inside" source said it involves OLIVE OIL, a LONG TUBE and a BUCKET (!!!)

Well, what do you think, ole bloggee, will they be able to TOTE "Bob" there in time? How will they do it as the SANITARIUM is located at the very pinacle of Mt. Pointless, elevation 28,000 ft!
Looks like a SCARY PLACE to us....