Dogs are idiots!

How boring to have "literalists" clogging up the planet, isnt' it??

Of course we were referring to "daylight" as opposed to "24 hour days." Its a common use of the word - for SANE PEOPLE, that is. But, you see, that is the very PROBLEM with dogs - they are DOGS, and you know what that means? Whenever something is really lousy - what is it called but a "DOG"???
And, appropriately so, we might add.

NEXT CASE!!!!

Sheesh!

Cats are Dumb

OK, OK, I don't mean to be offensive, but this cat in the previous post is really a bit of an alarmist. Everybody knows that the day is always 24 hours in duration.

And what is the big deal about daylight. I mean, yeah, it is depressing when it is cloudy and all that, but really, what good is it otherwise. You wake up around 9 or 10, have a bit of lemon biscotti dipped in just the right amount of coffee, then you plop yourself on your hassock and pillows in the window and catch some rays so your nose leather looks sharp.

Then you have a little breakfast and sleep up in bed for 5 or 6 hours, then you have dinner and play with Spongebobby and nap. Then you go upstairs and play some fetch, nap, play some more fetch and other games, nap, then you hit the hay again until morning.

On a good day, you go to the park or for a ride. On a really good day, you get to bark at a lot of dogs who walk buy or at people you do not like. So what is the big deal here. Much ado about nothing.

Uh, oh....Fall is coming on fast!

The days will, officially, begin to get shorter again starting TODAY!




"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may..."

Well, WHAT can we say?

We LOVED "Billie Jean."

He beat Torrie? No way!!!

Our girl, Torrie, should have won!

She did everything he did and she's a GIRL! Just - like Ginger Rodgers with Fred Astaire.

Everyone knew Ginger was a better dancer.

We smell rampant, nation wide voting sexism here and we DON'T like it!

The dog days of summer are here....

I'm prepared, 'though:

pitcher of sangria

new flip flops

new tennis ball

jacked up the air conditioning

new pillow

full bowl of dried organic treats


BRING IT ON!!

Patti, you done DID it, girl!

Good for you, we didn't thing you had it in you!

Wow - little Holly really made ole John sweat!

While they were throwing back those DELICIOUS bug cocktails he looked like he was going to really be sick! (BURP!)

I liked the part where he said he was too tall and then he scootched WAY DOWN to the table - guess what? It worked!

Congrats, John Salley - even though you were almost voted out (because you got so bossy as leader of the camp!) you survived to eat more SPIDERS!!

Oooh, "she's" in a baaaad mood tonight.

'Had to go to the dentist for "gum line" drilling. Ugh! I hope that never happens to me.

Only a night of watching "Celebrity" and a Cubs win can cheer her up - along with a few glasses of mead, of course.

Meowwwwwwwww....

Old, hairy White House mutt gets attention! Hmmmph..

This dog is a hapless FOOL. I, Pip, have spoken. See BORING (ZZZZZZZZZ) video at the end - if you INSIST. Proceed.

Personally, I was so BORED that I took a long nap and then, as it was STILL going on, I went for a walk, ate some liver, "went," cleaned my paws and polished my nose leather to a high shine!

Buh bye Janice - we hardly knew ye (sob...)

What a girl! Read here - did she say "1000?"

Oh, YA!!! OMG!

Signs of global warming??? Unusual rain &downpours....

Lots more rain than there used to be with flooding and well, read this.

Well, its time to go to the stylist again -

I think I need a new "look" - what do YOU think??

THIS is known as the "puppy cut"......

adorable, yes, but does it reflect my inner "big dog" who is dying to COME OUT??



Then there's the totally SCALPED look... hmmmmm, well, I guess if its really HOT out or something, it might be....practical....but it sure is SHORT!!!!!



Of course, many prefer the "classic" Maltese style - who can DENY its MAGNIFICENCE?

Surely not me..... yet....it would make it DIFFICULT to RUN and JUMP and LEAP about in the tall grass and MUD and all....you know, bloggee, the things that make me....ME!!!

I will have to mull this over and get back "to ya."

OMG - even HE doesn't attract crowds like this!

Look! Mr. Blago has a new pal!

and I must say he/she looks like a real charmer!

Sly, little cute shoe thief!

Funny!

Speidie on the tee vee today! Tee hee hee.......

Uh oh, Speidie is stupid (like we didn't know) - we don't *heart* them at ALL.

Wow - I dreamed they carried me out and gave me a

BUBBLE BATH back at the hotel - Boy - did that feel good!


(this is one great dream I'm having - I hope it never ends!)

I'm so glad that THIS GUY

had to go home - he was mean! HAHHAHHAHAHA

I went into the jungle to go "wee wee" today and

look who I found peeping!

I had to run like hell!

              "GET ME OUTTA HERE - I'M A MALTILION, FER CHRISSAKE!"

A camp buddy - can you recognize her "then" and "now?".

How can it BE?????? Oh, it BE all right!

Wow - We just got out of "The Lost Chamber".........

Me and my new BFF's Heidi and Spenser just got out! It was horrible!! We were TORTURED over and over and STARVED and BEATEN - I didn't get my ORGANIC LIVER and JARLSBURG cheese...in tiny bites or at ALL!

HEY --------- hey hey HEY!
.........Wait a DARN minute............. how did I wind up here???

HOW did I get into this wierd "Blago"adventure time and space warp??

LET ME try and remember.....OH, oh.....OH!! Its coming back - yes, I was sound asleep on my bed with my head resting on my COMFY "bear" pillow ............
when ALL OF A SUDDEN I had an APPARITION............................it was.... "ZOZZIE" my soul brother - you know, the "dead guy".....my furry predecessor with "him" and "her."
(As you may know they rushed him down to the University of Illinois to save him but it wasn't meant to be and they drove all the way back to Chicago sobbing and sobbing...its a good thing he came into my spirit.) He appeared to me last week in a dreamy vision. He told me to RUN AWAY - to hold my BREATH, count to 3 and click my heels (all 4 of them) and I would go on a wonderful JOURNEY.
Frankly, I have been feeling quite UNDER appreciated around here lately. "They" have been on some crazed EXERCISE MANIA lately and 'have been leaving me all ALONE for HOURS! Every day I run to the door and HOWL my lungs out but it doesn't do any GOOD - they just leave me alone by myself! Oh WOE IS ME!!! I had just been watching the 10 PM news and saw about Patti and Costa Rica and then I fell asleep and Zozzi appeared and then .......................

Three Bobs

Today I went upstairs and found myself mystified, truly MYSTIFIED. I mean, I found not the usual two sponges, the immortal and dearly beloved Spongebobby and his evil twin Bubba Bob, but a third Sponge or Bob or whatever - I am so CONFUSED.

No, here, lo and behold, was a stranger, Redbob. He's kind of cool, really. "He" and I played fetch with him for ten or fifteen minutes, then we switched to the retched Bubba Bob for another couple of throws before I realized my error. Finally, the one true sponge returned to the game.

But I have to say, this new kid, this Redbob, has a nice feel as well as a true bounce. Am I being unfaithful to a true old pal, or is it time for a little variety?

These are big decisions. BIG DECISIONS. Is this what growing up is all about?

I have been advised to consult a new seer, someone called The Pretzel, or Pretzel-Wetzel, or something like that. He looks like a contorted bee. WTF!!

But I don't want to grow up. I am a puppy. I am PERPLEXED.

A hint- tune in later for first installment of..........

"I'm a MALTILION - Get me AWAY from these "PEOPLE!!!"

A Gnarly Night

OK. I've had it! I'VE HAD IT!!!

How would you like to meet up with this thing in the middle of a night-time nap? Not so much, eh?

"He" started it all, bringing in some plants from the deck, or so he said. Well, it's a jungle out there, Mojumbo, in case you don't know. So what he calls a "fly" came in as well. A FLY? I don't think so. I've seen flies before. I've hunted flies before. Successfully. (See some postings of mine from last autumn).

But believe me, this was more like an airplane. And the noise, the BUZZING, that damned infernal BUZZING. Even now I can't get it out of my head.

I did my best. "He" swatted it and said he killed it. "She" said no it was just stunned, put it outside. Duh! He scooped it up and brought it towards the door, when it was reanimated. Like some kind of zombie fly straight out of the telepod. And then more of them came in.

It's over now. After a terrific hunt - and I don't mind telling you I was scared and I still haven't fully recovered my wits - they have been conquered, mostly thanks to "him."

I AM A DESIGNER DOG, GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! I cannot live like this. Can a designer dog find happiness on Lake Shore Drive. I don't think so.