Emoluments

Wow, am I glad I gave that geezer CD a call!  What an eye-opener!  It turns out that, in some respects, depending on the circumstances, peanut butter cookies can be viewed as an emolument.  Who knew?  Seen from a certain viewpoint, any good thing that has value can be an emolument.  Of course, peanut butter cookies are undoubtredly good things.  So... Q.E.D.

The question then becomes whether I can accept them or - and I am not owning up to anything here, not at all (I am not a crook) - take them, like, I suppose just, you know grabbing them, OK, stealing them.  There, I said it.  Sue me.

Turns out I can do anything I like because, see, I am an animal companion, a pet, and so I am above the law.  Laws are for people.  Hah!!!  Q.E.D.  Habeus, schmabeus.  Bah!  Humbug!

Sadly for Ned, however, not so much.  Those cookies are emoluments.  And the worst kind.  Plus, nobody even offered them.  So Ned is a crook.  Q.E.D.

Lock him up!