Multiple birth shocker at Snail Hts Memorial Pavillion!

TOWN TATTLER, January 31, 2009
.........................................................................................................................

"Hospital officials reported this morning that a LARGE multiple birth scenario occurred in the middle of the night - much to the SHOCK of malocollogy personnel!"

It seems that the new mom checked in around 10 PM last night claiming to have mobility problems. As she was being examined, the doctor turned his back for a moment and just THEN, 145 tiny baby snails popped up and were grinning at him when he turned around. Staggered by the sight of those smiling little faces, both the dr. and the nurse fainted dead away.

The unidentified mom is doing well as is her teeny tiny brood.

More later!........

(What is going ON at this place??? First "Bigfoot" has NASTY problems here and NOW this FREAK occurance (WHO is going to "foot the bill??)! The TOWN TATTLER vows to get to the bottom of this, mark my words!"

Ssshhhhh...."the patient is resting comfortably....."

Town Tattler, January 30, 2009
............................................................................................................................

"Bigfoot," beloved resident of the Snailarium Biosphere Project, suffered potential damage to his HARD SHELL yesterday when a KNOWN home INVADER broke into the Project Center and threw him to the floor where he stuck his shell on a BIG ROCK!

Staff, hearing his calls of distress, rushed him to the IMPERIAL Snail Hts. Extended Care Pavillion, a facility of dubious reputation to say the LEAST!

Due to the extreme CHEAPNESS of the Pavillion administrators, poor "Bigfoot" was not able to have a phone by his bed so his many visitors had to slime over there in person!

Upon arrival, imagine their SHOCK and DISGUST when they were verbally attacked by a VIOLENT INTAKE person who treated them in a very RUDE way, hollering commands and hurling insults at them!

After they were able to get past the VILE creature they went searching for the HEAD NURSE to complain but DRIVEN BACK by a TERRIBLE STENCH, they fled and were, therefore, unable to check on poor "Bigfoot's" condition!

They went straight away to the Snail Hts Public Safety Office (SHPSO)and filed a complete report on this shocking facility which has NO PLACE in the Biosphere.

They are, now, working on getting "Bigfoot" transferred to an acceptable Pavillion and hope to be able to do so by the end of the day!

Let's hope the old boy is feeling better and will be up and running around by tomorrow. In the meantime the SBP (Special Biosphere Police) is busy working day and night on the case to ferret out the heinous home invader!"

Well! Looks like ole "Fat(s)" got the Mayor's CHAIR~

TOWN TATTLETALE, January 29, 2009
............................................................................................................

"At 7 PM today, "Fat(s) Slim" was sworn as the 2nd Mayor of Snail Hts., Biosphere, only a few hours after our beloved, although somewhat tarnished, former mayor, Maurice Spinaltzzzo."

Alas!

These guys don't waste any time!

TOWN TATTLER, JANUARY 29, 2 PM
........................................................................................................................

"Gramps Slim," uncle of "Fats Slim" was seen out on a highway this afternoon already pulling up road signs to be replaced with new ones stating "Fats Slim" Mayor of Snail Heights!"

(I think its a tad "pushy," don't you??"

"Fats Slim" stops for a nosh on his way to the capital.

TOWN TATTLER, January 29, 2009
.............................................................................................................

"Taking advantage of a brief warm spell, "Fats," vice mayor of Snail Hts. took a few minutes off from his hectic trip to the capital to grab a snack and buy a new "dew rag."

Allies sent "Fats" a text message telling him that he'd better HURRY as the impeachment hearings are underway and if he wants to claim the CHAIR of disgraced Mayor Maurice Spinaltzzzo he better get back in his car and DRIVE!!."

"Fat Slim," Mayor's next in command to take over!

TOWN TATTY, January 29, 2009.
....................................................................................................................

"Big Fat" Slim wings his way to Snail City so he will be "in place" when Mayor Spinaltzzzo is booted out of office.

As most Biosphere residents know, "Fat" has LONG been hankering for the Mayoral spot and has been plotting and planning behind the scenes for TWO DECADES to plant his butt butt in the mayoral seat."

BULLETIN: Mayor Spinaltzzzo to address the Senate!

TOWN TATTLER, January 28, 3 PM
.........................................................................................................

"Mayor Maurice Spinaltzzzo has just made a request to the Snail Hts Senate that he be permitted to address them tomorrow in order to offer his defense against the charges of "Extreme Embezzlement'"

A riot immediately broke out within the Senate Chambers when word spread regarding the request.

YIKES! Do you think they will ALLOW the Mayor to appear and "plead his case"? It should be a WILD SCENE!