Informed readers of this blog must be aware that it was Bigfoot who drowned in the Snail Heights Community Pool nearly two years ago, not the infamous Spinalzo, who was in all probability his murderer. Now maybe people will be finally aware of the truly diabolical nature of the Spinalzo/BOGGLER conspiracy and just what I am up against.
Fortunately, my expert team of forensic scientists, Drs. M&M and Monkey T. Frog, have cracked yet another riddle. The Death Certificate, of course, is an obvious forgery, meant to cover his trail. Furthermore, their ultra-sophisticated DNA tests of the snail trails (YUCK!) and ring pattern analysis - that's right, no two snails are alike, it's like fingerprints - prove conclusively that the evil genius Spinalzo, just like Dr. Moriarty, I might add, lives on.
OK, maybe he's a ZOMBIE, I don't know, but it's him I tell you, it's him!!!
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