Whew!

You know how in all those old Republic serials, the hero is trapped in a seemingly hopeless situation and then when the next episode begins, he just pops up free and clear and you never know how he got out and all. Like when Flash Gordon is trapped in a bread slicer (depicted in the side panel) and then suddenly he flies away with the Hawk Men (not depicted anywhere on this blog).

Well, I am not going to resort to any such obvious subterfuge in these pages. Suffice it to say that the creature who had attached to my person was a worm (already depicted in a previous entry). He was in fact the inhabitant and sole proprietor of the wormhole that had brought me to this sorry pass. I whirled and spun with all my might and jumped with all the furry power of my wonderful and celebrated hindquarters and lo, I was free and falling through the vortex to land safely in the Cave of Dreams.

That was a close call. It turns out the little hut we were all in was a yurt and the local terminus of that very same wormhole. I yawned and stretched among the pillows and comforters in the Cave of Dreams. I heard a gentle tapping on the windowpane.

The source of that tapping must await another installment of my tale.

Anyone have a match???

Just as I was finally able to relieve myself in good old Emperor Ming's Palace - one of his preatorian guards yells out  "Hey - this hairy old dog (!!) has COOTIES!!!

WTF???  Sure enough, I looked down and this hoary dude had ATTACHED himself to my NETHER REGiONS and those teeth look powerful SHARP!    HELP!!!!!!!

Whoa daddy!! That was a close one!!

Just as I was

Just as I was in the middle of soaring UP, UP and AWAAAY - what do I see headed my way but this retro hunk o' junk!! 

I had to do a fast DIP and scramble my BUTT back to the mean ole Space Station FAST.  I commenced to KICKING the front door again - STILL NO FRIGGING ANSWER!!  

In a moment of sheer inspiration I dove like hell UNDER the doormat which said "GO AWAY!"  (very funny!)_

WOW!!

Then someone began PULLING MY TAIL and it REALLY hurt!(grrrrrr........) and before I knew what happened  I was YANKED into this WEIRD  PLACE!!

A beautiful ZULU HUT!!  

Turns out it was FULL of astronauts but they squeezed over and  made room for PIP!.  

Seems they have been having a TERRIBLE problem with nasty space junk clunking around out there these days and when they get toooooo close - the boys nip into the hut for a few hours or days.  

What is it like INSIDE??  You wouldn't believe it dear bloggee!!  You wouldn't believe it!! -  

But, just in case you MIGHT believe it - take a peek below and  see if you do, you know, believe it....

.............told ya!!

The ISS didn't answer their door so I just had to keep on going!

I knocked and rung the bell and jiggled the letter slot but they just kept IGNORING me so I just took a deep breath and put my paws up and down a few times like they teach you in "drown proofing" class and I just started soaring up and away again!

Who knows WHERE I'll wind up?  Mars?  Uranus (hope not.....) ????

Oh, BTW,  no Tribune so I just .....well, you know, did what comes naturally - so watch out...BOMBS AWAY!!

Fly me to the moon!

So it went down like this.  I was bouncing on the bed WAY high - higher than I've EVER flown before and I think my head might have hit the ceiling or the roof or something.


Anyhoo, I just kept going and going and going and then BOINGO!!!!  What did I see before me but ..... the frigging INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION (!!!)

 WOW!   So I barked and SCREAMED (like I am wont to do) and NO ANSWER!  Hmmmmmmm...
what to do?  I was real hungry and I needed to use the Tribune (!!) really bad so I started howling and kicking and punching and yelling REALLY LOUD (!!)

The Battle and Its Aftermath

Loyal readers will have missed my extended absence from these pages. Rest assured that absence was not entirely intentional and that it was absolutely essential. You may recall that in my last entry I was mourning the fact that I was snowbound. That was only part of the tale.

Dear Reader, you know that I had been locked in a life and death struggle with the Boggler who had set ever more extreme and demented puzzles for me by building ziggurats of increasingly fiendish complexity.

You may wonder did I ever solve the mystery? Did I ever bring the monster to justice? Was reason and order restored to the universe?

Actually the answer to all of the above questions, sadly, is NO.

It was not from want of trying. Nor was the quest abandoned without a titanic struggle of such immense effort that it has laid me low these many days and months. Only now can the tale be told.

Well, the truth is the tale cannot be told because I’m not certain what really happened, or if anything happened at all.

It all ended several months ago in a battle fought at the edge of the bed. We rolled around for nearly an hour, he coming at me with all the diabolical fury he could muster and I answering in kind. Then we both hurtled downward in space for several feet until, alas, the Boggler disappeared and I found myself under the bed in the Cave of Dreams.

I have remained there incognito since that fateful day, lying low and plotting my re-emergence, pausing only to eat liver and cheese and snow peas and edamame and kibble as well as regular salmon and chicken freeze-dried treats generously provided at regular intervals by “Him” and “Her”. For which I am humbly and forever in their debt, I might add.

But now, I am ready to begin another adventure. Early this morning, at the stroke of 10, I was awakened by a gentle knocking…

Wait, wait, the resolution of that interview must be deferred to the next installment.

The Blizzard

Wow! That was some snowstorm, let me tell you. That's me, by the way, surveying the deck. "He" wanted to go out and build a snowman, but we couldn't get the door open. So much for promises.

It was pretty scary. For me, it all started on Saturday when hundreds of crazy robins landed in the courtyard and started foraging and flying around while I was trying to catch an afternoon nap. I knew something was up.

Then the winds came. I don't like wind and I don't like it howling in the fireplace and down the chimney and wherever. Where are my little bird friends and the squirrels and rabbits? They are my favorites. I hope they are OK.