WELL, it seems her doktor
submitted her name to be a guinea pig for some clinical test of a new kind of GIANT PILL - to see if a regular type person could SWALLOW the thing and LIVE to tell the tale!
Well, being the good sport that she is (and they were paying her 200 smackers..) she schlepped over there this week. The overly eager "staff" was WAITING to POUNCE on her as soon as they saw her and DRAGGED her off to a tiny cubbyhole where they stood OVER her and forced her to eat a HORRIBLE BREAKFAST of steaming dung, stones, gravel and BUGS ("good" bacteria!")
"Ready......set......GO" they hollered as she tried to down the scary meal in 10 seconds flat. They THEN produced a large LEAD vault and reached in, retrieving a horrible "MONSTER PILL!!" It was so large two of them had to hoist it from its lead lined cradle and then drag it over on a pulley over to a pathetic chair wherein they surrounded
her and bullied her into SWALLOWING the HIDEOUS thing. Oh, the humanity!! Well, NEEDLESS to say the GIANT TORTURE device lodged in her poor little (sob) esophagus and just STAYED there and WOULDN'T budge!
No amount of swaying, wiggling, jumping up and down would BUDGE the DEVIL'S gadget!
They, then, decided that the only solution was to go down to ....RADIOLOGY and verify the location of the BEASTLY object. So, puke rags in hand, off she crept down to the RADIATION chamber....POOR LITTLE THIN
GEE!
"THEY" (the radiation men) had just come in from having had one of their morning MEETINGS and weren't any too happy to see her waiting for them with the GIANT "PILL" in her innards and let her KNOW they didn't like having their ROUTINE disturbed! THEN, they shoved her into the radiation box and smashed her face into the wall! They pushed her around a bunch more times and then cried "AHA!!!" and said they found the PROBLEM - "she" had a weird RING at the bottom of her poor little ESHOPHAGUS! WHO KNEW! The cursed GIANT PILL was lodged at the bottom of the vile RING!!! YUCK!
THEN, of course, they said it had to COME out (HUH???) and they dragged her (she was a wreck by now, bloggee, and using ALL MANNER of 4 letter words - some she didn't even know she knew!!) Yes, she was a spittin,' cursin' cat and WOE BE to anyone who crossed her path as she puked her way BACK to the GI lab! Grrrrrrrrr.......
Once there, she had to wait around and puke a BUNCH more and, finally they drugged her and gave her a big TUBE down the gullet. See nasty thing below:
After the TUBE PEOPLE were finished with her(!) And while they DID remove the hated GIANT Pill and, she was a SHADOW of her former self and fleeing the HOUSE OF TORTURE, she vowed "NEVER TO RETURN!"
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment