Spongebobby: The Treatment

So here’s the deal, the solution, as in what we have to do to cure the Sponge, according to that quack “Rabbit”. The chip cannot be removed surgically.

Rather we must transport Bob via tricycle across the highlands of Snail Heights to the Heliport. Then I must fly him in a helicopter to the airport, where he will embark in a bi-plane flown by Hummingbird. All this is to subject Bob to the maximum amount of reverberation.

“In my experience,” “Rabbit” pronounced, “these matters can only be rectified by a good shaking up and by dropping the patient from a great height into a very low valley or atop a geyser or volcano that is in the process of eruption.”

Huh? I’m sitting there barely able to contain myself. This is modern medicine??!! Of course, all these other mopes are busy taking notes, writing everything down as if they were listening to the Delphic Oracle.

And, geez, this is going to cost us another 5,000 carrots, none of which is covered by Spongecare.

I have a recipe, a very good one, for rabbit stew.

Oh, and here’s another kicker. He has to be caught on the fly by his totemic animal familiar (ME!!!) and subjected to a violent chomp. This action will dislodge the foreign body completely.

Duh!