I Don't Want to Boast

But, hey, just take a look.  I mean, am I cool or what?

When in Rome

I don't often show my dark side, but when you are at a crossroads in the wilderness, well, you just have to go with the flow.  No one will cross this bridge without permission.  Enough said.

What a Dream!

Or was it?  Last night I had this vision of myself alone on a tropical isle.  Kind of lonely, yeah.  But kind of cool.

I just don't get it!

Overall I get Cadillac treatment around here from my special yummo organic food to the gallery of 10,000 toys to more pillows than I can count plus I get my way on every single thing I ever want BUT there is this ONE THING I just don't get....the monthly drowning session.

Can anyone 'splain this to me??????

TNX, Pip

Hmmmm.....I don't want to cast any aspersions or anything but......

Who pops into YOUR mind when you consider the goings on of the past week?  Well, lets just review what happened:  Important item lost?  Check  Power outage?  Check  Largest drop in temperature in a single day in history? Check

3rd base coach totally screws up sending in Barwin Darney yesterday and the Cubs lose to the hated Mets yesteday? Check

Obama has one of the worst weeks of his presidency with 3 count 'em THREE scandals? Check

YOU DO THE MATH!!

So WHO popped into your brain when considering all the above disasters??  Do the initials "J. B. (as in "Jet Blue" - the mighty mite mega force from the 4th dimension - come to mind??)
Hmmmmmm????

This happened to me last night!

I was next to the one in green.  What a sad and pathetic sight I was.  Too ashamed to post a photo.  Just look at these poor mugs.
What is it with the two I live with where they think they can just pass me off to a person once a month and have her do vile and nasty things to me like DUNKING and SOAKING and SOAPING and SCRUBBING and some in VERY personal places!
There outta be a law.....

Hey, World!

I'm in Door County this week.  Safe from the prying eyes of you-know-who, he who may not be named, i.e., one Reginald Interloper.

Boy, am I pooped.  They put you through the ringer here I must say.  Five hour car ride.  Ten mile hikes.  Sometimes you need to just kick back and relax with your friends.

"Bilbo's" runnin' buddy:

Goes by the moniker of "Jet Blue."  If you see her - BEWARE!

Yes, she seems small, tiny even, and delicate but she has GIANT courage and can even jump over a mountain if she has to!  So far she hasn't had to but she is well, awesome!!

She can read your mind, tell your fortune and read your tea leaves like a pro so watch OUT.

....Just sayin'

MISSING!

If you see this dog in the general vicinity of the Glen or environs - please notify the DOG CATCHER at once.  He is bigger than they thought he would be and has really long legs and floppy ears.  he is a terrible law breaker and has been known to violate tons of internet rules such as blog busting!
Do not approach unless fully armed.
He may be traveling with a small ally who weighs only 4 lbs but has mystical powers strong enough to stop a fully grown human in their tracks.

(Hmmmmmmm......this is turning out to be a tad thornier problem than I thought it would be.  Sucker is devious and quite tricky.  Got passed the bars AND the image of the croc...........HOW DID HE DO IT????  Well, I'm going to buy some time by getting him picked up by the dog catcher - then its back to the drawing boards for moi.)

4 sale: one male dog of a certain age....

Description:

Is never constipated.
"Barker" is extremely good condition - ear splittingly high and loud.
Long white hairs cling well to everything.
Organic food is not too expensive or hard to get anymore.
Is on first name basis with top groomer in Lakeview.
Likes to stick his tongue out at passer's by.

Price:$3.00 or best offer

signed,         "Bilbo from The Glen" (hardee har har,  - so much for your barricades, old timer!)

Hmmmmm......an idea just dawned on me........

To be on the safe side, I have just purchased an image of an alligator......he is going to sit right ouside my super barricade ....just in case the curly haired trickster tries to do an end run.

He IS youthful, he has that going for him but, so I have to be extra vigilant to protect the "Ear."

Yep, this ought to do it!!

I was up all night constructing this impregnable barricade. It is totally foolproof!

No way any critter with a "Miss Toni" perm is EVER going to get through THIS tungsten steel barrier.  Its been tested in Alcatraz and Statesville prisons - no way, no how not possible will a bone gnawing camera hound break through!  He'd have to have a degree in PRISONOMICS to figure out that lock!  Cost me quite a bit but I charged it to my reclusive uncle, "JP."

I will really sleep well tonight, in fact I think I will go have a little snooze right now!  By y'all!  Be good!!

Hey, Photoshop Boy!

Good luck with your frozen "treats"!  I had those for my third birthday party.  Not only are they three years old, but they are made of 95% Carageenan and 5% Yak Fat.  Ha, ha, ha!  I took one teeny, tiny lick and had to drink a quart of Evian water.

The home remedy above may help.  Good luck with that.

Oh look! Oh this is just SWELL! There used to be THREE ice cream cups here!!!

Don't even tell me - you mean when I was busy trying to protect my "Ear Blog" that that ....lanky 4 legger ( who will remain nameless for the present) snuck in behind my firewall and WANTONLY gobbled up TWO of my late night scrumptious treat cups???

How DID he do it??  Now this is going TOOOO far, "Mr. Bilbo" Johnson - there I called him out publically!

This will keep that pesky 2 year old out!

See, I stayed up all night to try to figger a way to protect Pip's Ear against certain suburban......interlopers....and, finally, about 4 AM I realized that the best thing to do is the most obvious!  So I stayed up another half hour to rummage in Google Images to find just the right set of PRISON BARS that would do the trick.
HAH!!  I dare that long legged trickster to try to break in again!  I DOUBLE DARE him, in fact.
P.S. I hear via the grapevine that he has a new Nylabone....willl see how long THAT lasts! Hahahahahahahhahaha

That painting, however feeble, counts, too!

And don't think I buy that "halo" dealie.   An invasion of my space AT ANY LEVEL is a VIOLATION and must be reported to the FULLEST extent of the internet law - right to the very top.  I won't sleep until this case is resolved. 

What the Sam Hell???

Now, lookee here.  I don't know WHO is hacking my blog or WHAT....but I am starting to feel somewhat cross bordering on annoyed that the above individual is popping up on the "Pip's Blog" or whatever you call it.
There is something mighty fishy going on around here and I plan to get to the bottom of it.  Hmmmmmm...I smell a salmon or ???????
From NOW ON....I, Pip, absolutely FORBID to ALLOW any STRANGE beings from interloping onto my BLOG.  No manner of black noses, floppy ears or cute, tilted heads with adorable eyes will be tolerated HEREIN!
Pip has spoken!!

This is not me! Definitely. I'm 100% sure that there is no "me" there - not one iota!

SO, if you see this "Soulmate" person you can rest assured that you are not seeing me, that is "Pip" of "Pip's Ear."
Apparently you will be seeing some poor Soulmate who does not have his own blog and, therefore, somehow, seems to have forced his mug onto MY blog, that is "Pip's Ear's" blog.
Now I hope you are not confused - to reiterate - under NO circumstances is the above "Soulmate" me  PIP OF PIP'S EAR.
Thank you for your patience.

Am I Beautiful, or What?

Next question...

I knew it!

"He" told me the odds of encountering terrifying sea creatures were slim and here aren't they posting blogs on my blog!

THE HORROR!!!

How sad that the sleep of the innocent and truly adorable should be troubled by such visions.  But this is always the way, isn't it?  I mean, I mean...  Well, I could go on at some length upon this topic, but why bother.

From the "Sarcastic Fringehead Forum"

Woe is me.  Lambasted YET AGAIN online by a heartless little troll named "Pip" (ridiculous name if I do say so...)

Can I help how I look?  I try to do the best with what the good Lord gave me and I'm told by my confreres that, for a "Fringe" I'm not too hard on the eye (!) yet it never fails that just when I am starting to gain some confidence along comes some little smartass to ruin my day!

Frankly, if I looked like an albino squirrel I wouldn't be so quick to launch "clever" bot mot's at other folks just trying to survive.

Troubled Sleep

OK.  This was scary.  I was sleeping peacefully on my brown sofa.  "He" was surfing the Internet.  Then this horrible vision assaulted by senses.

Dear readers, you know how much I abhor violence in any form.  But this was bad all around.  I couldn't sleep for several hours and then the nightmares.  "He" assures me the likelihood of encountering such a creature is remote.  Still, they exist, don't they?  A piece of knowledge I wish I had not acquired.

Many Deep Thoughts

So many responsibilities.  So many considerations.  So much to blog and so little time.  Have to lie back and get my bearings, so to speak.

Touching yout tongue to your nose is supposed to...

Pull up a droopy chin line. 
With my extra long tongue I find it to be a very easy and pleasant exercise in the name of beauty.
After all, I'm not getting any younger...

Ladies and gentlemen, what do U see before U?

Or should I say WHO do you see before you? 
Is it me? 
Is it a relative of mine? 
A brother or sister or 1st cousin twice removed?
I would like to get to the bottom of this puzzle and there is only one "two legger" who can solve it - my step mommy, Denise.

Blogging

As you can see, this blogging business is hard work.  And it is winter time.  And I am tired.  More later.  Nap time.

Get well, get well!

                                      Mommy Denise, Pip wants you to GET WELL!

                                                       Pip, son of Peanut and Pixie

Big Things Coming

Just you wait.  It is a new year.  New adventures.  New computer (see above).  New Pip.  That's right.  Well, maybe not exactly.  But who would want everyone's favorite Maltillon to change anyway?