The Birthday Continued

I'm just now recovering from all the excitement. Here is a list of presents with appropriate illustrations and commentary.

The Green Parrot: This guy is very suitable for throwing around and shaking by the neck. He makes two distinct squawking sounds. Very irritating to people and hence a real winner!

The Square Lamb: A nice squeaker and a good solid mouthful for chewing if you are bored. Sweet!

The Really Fat Guy: We don't know what to make of this guy and frankly he is a little scary. Somehow the other day he managed to make it up to my meditation cushion. I was coming around the corner at high speed when I spotted him. I was taken aback, let me tell you. Anyone would have been scared.

He keeps turning up in odd places, on sofas, in chairs. He gives me the creeps. We suspect he is related in some way to the Fat Man (see sidebar). Perhaps his father or uncle or maybe a mutant version.

I have asked my brain trust to undertake DNA analysis and to keep him under observation. There is a story here and I mean to get to the bottom of it.

The Birthday Party

Am I a lucky puppy or what? Lets just say we had our best birthday ever. Can you believe it? Three years old. Wow!

We started out with edamame. Yum!

Then we had our usual dinner, followed by the birthday song with candle and my own portion of creme brulee. Cool!

And then the presents!!! Well, it's too much. I'll have to postpone that discussion until later.

Master Pip

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

from "Pip"

WHOA WHOA WHOA - guess what???

Its my birthday! I'm THREE!

YAY me!

I went from a scrawny little sickly nervous puppy who was scared of EVERYTHING and used to just sit and shake to the charming, brimming with VITALITY and VIGOR chap that you see before you today!

I will be available for gifts, presents, tributes, PARTIES, compliments, accolades, congratulations, kudos, and good wishes from noon til midnight on November, 24.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PIP!! AND MANY MORE!

(*Pssssst - keep yer trap SHUT but I got a little PRESENT for the BIRTHDAY BOY when he comes out of his hidey hole!)

hahahhahahahahhaha

Bee Bee Zinger, my new BFF I met on Mugbook

wrote on my "fire hydrant" today and said he is going to come to my aid to help me get out from under the stairs!

Its a good thing that I dragged my notebook 'puter in with me so I could communicate with him!

Hurry, Bee Bee, Its getting HOT in here and I'm HUNGRY!!

Pip

Hmmmmm......is THAT that little creepy Pipsqueak???

I think I see a small furry white paw sticking out under the stairs!

Yes it is one!!

Let me dash down there and take up a perch outside......

teehhhheee.....



Hahahahhahahaha - (yawn) I can sit here ALL day and wait. When does "Family Feud" come on? Is it dinner time yet??????

Ssssssshhhhhhhh.......

Its me!

(I'm hiding under the stairs...waiting for that INSANE FELINE to GO AWAY!

It keeps p r o w l i n g & p a c i n g back and forth looking for me in every nook an' cranny. hahahhahha - I fooled it by sneaking in here but I'm VERY uncomfortable and need to go to the ......well, you know, the thingee. Plus my back is starting to HURT and I can hardly BREATHE!! (gasp.....gasp....)

I'm going to HAVE to get OUT of here in the next few minutes or I will FREAK OUT!

Uh, oh - guess who got out of his/her octagon prison!

Yikes - let me get the HELL OUTTA HERE!

Somebody is REAL P*ssed at me and its NOT my fault that he/she/it was just HAPPENING along when my experimental octagon bubble EXPLODED out of my paws and landed on ITS head (!)

S'not my fault!

BYE~~~

I guess I figured out how to handle that pesky

"trick or treat" cat.

hahahhahahahhaha

Lets see what he/she will do about THAT one!

hahahhahahha

Oh, PSHAWWW!

You call those flip doodle ear muffs of yours EARS???

Now HERE we are talking some ears! And can they ever HEAR!!

Turns out this dude was awakened last night by a faucet dripping in an apartment in Rio de Janiero!

Then JUST as he was falling back to sleep (after getting himself a nice drink of water...) WHAT HAPPENED (???) but a flight attendant on a Gulf Stream flying over Port au Prince dropped an eclair onto the carpet!

WTF?????????????????????

Dear Ms. or Mr. Hahahhahhahahhah,

Please be advised that the ear of the Maltillon and Papillon is a most marvelous product of evolution. The exact design specifications are classified. Should you wish to inspect a rough schematic, please submit an application in quadruplicate signed and witnessed by four notaries of distinct ethnic derivations whose DNA may be verified to the fourth generation to The Honorable Bear, Attorney at Law, c/o Rumpot of the Bailey, The Bailey, London, W.C. 2. Be prepared to wait a long time for a response.

The Maltillon ear has been compared to the radio telescope as an instrument of perception and nuance. We personally find this to be both a blessing and a curse. You may be assured by a cursory glance at the photo of the estimable Pip of Pip's Ear resting at the right column of this blog that there is plenty of lobe present. Be sure to look away immediately.

Pip

Speaking of ear.....lobes...

Where EXACTLY are YOURS, Monsieur Pip?

We're seeing a lot of ear FLAP but not so much in the lobe department.

Maybe you need a LOBE TRANSPLANT!!

hahahhahahhahha

Welcome to "Sir "Pipi's" Earlobe Salon!

Please be seated and he will be with you in uno momento.

Kindly scan the journal on the table for help in selecting the proper or desired lobe of your choice.

Small, medium, large or EXTRA large - its all up to you!

Aside from our hideous zombie souls,

Take a hard look in the mirror, bloggie - is this happening to you?

LOL - this is fun!

Last night we went out in the neighborhood and look who was prowling around big as life? 'Never would have spotted them without my new BFF zombie finding camera! Thanks, Goldblatt's!

Hey, "Peep!"

We can take the bus to Goldblatt's, too, and GUESS WHO got ZOMBIFIED while on his morning constitutional???

We may be mistaken BUT, WHA' HOPPENED to those magnificent "waterfall ears?" Hmmmmmmm???

Hahahhahahahaha.....

I woke them up in the middle of the night and looky looky the NICE SHOT I got off with MY special "ZOMBIE" camera.

It shoots RIGHT into your SOUL and finds the TRUE you!

Only $49.99 at Goldblatts!

Oooooops! Look what happened to someone who

took unauthorized pictures of their pup...it could happen to "them" if I see one more snap that is posted without my WRITTEN approval.

So be it!

Pip ("I vont to be alone!!)

The next SOB who takes my picture without permission

is going to regret the day they bought that cheap digital camera!

GOT IT????

Yes, its true that I do take a catnap every now and then....

But then who doesn't ??????

I REST my case!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, yada yada zzzzzzzzzzzz etc zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Do Not Be Alarmed

Master Pip,

Do not be alarmed. You have no blue plaid sofa. There is no cat.

However, you appear to have inadvertently entered another dimension, undoubtedly due to your excessive sleeping habits.

We will try to pull you out of this. It won't be easy.

The Guardians

Yes, it IS cute, I'll give it that.

Every time I turn around it has a different head dress on....and STILL no one else around here (!!) can see it!!

I can't understand it, can you?

It just sits there, changing its various hats, and glares at me. Yuck!

Make it GO AWAY!!

Pretend you don't notice him/her/it!

Just keep walking!

That highly irritating "trick or treat" (TRICK!!) cat is still hanging around.

Well, "hanging around" doesn't really tell the TAIL!

IT has snuck into the house now and is sitting on MY blue plaid favorite sofa - the little SNEAK!

I just don't understand why I'M the only one that can SEE it as THERE it sits in BROWN and WHITE with the stupid green HAT ON - the one with the GOOGLY EYES on it that ties under ITS chin! You, know, just look, ole bloggie dearest, YOU can SURELY see the vile beast, can't you....PLEASE!!!!

I'm goona call 911 or something if IT doesn't VAMOOSE soon!!

Serenity Now

Once again our sentiments have been hijacked. Look, we do not enjoy having our slumbers interrupted by construction noise overhead. But we deal with it. We move on. We go back to sleep. We do not bark or rage.

What is our secret? Sure, meditation helps. Mantras, cool. But our secret is good old-fashioned sleep. If you slept a minimum of 20 hours a day, as I do, you would be mellow too. Trust me, loyal followers, sleep is your friend.

But on the subject of goodness in general, yesterday, "he" and I saved a little wren or something that had crashed into our windows. We revived the little guy all by ourselves. We are GOOD. How can anyone not LIKE us?

I ask you. And by the way, this bird owes us. BIG TIME.

Master Pip of Pip's Ear

Waterboarding??? That might be effective....

Once more the %$%$#$ rat b*stards started up with the hammerin' and bangin' at an UNGODLY hour THIS morning!

We hate them.

We are pondering what would be the most painful type of TORTURE that could be inflicted on them in order that they suffer one hundredth of the MISERY they have brought on to us!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......
Suggestions will be gratefully accepted.

What are those SOB's DOING up there???

Those rat b*stards upstairs woke me up at an unGODLY hour this morning about 9 AM with the hammerin' and bangin' and droppin' construction project of theirs.

I'm SICK OF THEM and wish they would go back to their old routine of marching around at 7:30 AM with the radio blaring and door slammin'!

Grrrrrrr......Maybe I will sig the "trick or treating" he/she cat on them and she can SCRATCH their knobbly EYES out!

I love my sleep and HATE to have it disturbed!

That is all - return to what you were supposedly doing while I continue plotting and planning

(bang banging hammering ad NAUSEUM continues......)

Pip, Uh,...I don't want to SAY anything but this uh,

"tricker treater" is STILL hanging around outside the door. What should I do? I've tired shooing her/him away but, well, it didn't work. YES, I gave him/her a "treat" - Mars Bar which he/she seemed to enjoy but in a very dainty way and now he/she WON'T go AWAY!

Should I call the Cat Police? I would hate to think they would get rough with the lil dude(ette) as he/she isn't really BOTHERING anyone other than the fact that the neighbors are giving he/she a squirrley look whenever they go by and he/she has developed a peculiar habit of sitting on my morning Tribune and then I can't get it for my, you know, PAPERS!!!!

HELP!

PIP