Pay No Attention

Dear Pip of Pip's Ear, Master of the Inner Eight Ball,

Sometimes it is best to just ignore the insults of the common herd. I was deeply shocked by the recent post "Hello, Mojumbo." But as I say, pay it no heed.

I say this not just as a friend and loyal follower of your marvelous blog, but also as your long-lost sister Jujube. You know, Pip, there were only two of us and we were very close as puppies. It broke my heart to be adopted by strangers, although I cannot complain about my treatment here in Cricklewood.

In any case, let me set the record straight. You and I are designer puppies, not common curs. It is true that we endured many hardships at the kennel where we were raised, some of whose denizens referred to us, most unfairly, as mud-bloods. All of this I attribute to jealousy and envy of our unique characteristics and energetic dispositions.

Incidentally, I am glad to see that you continue to venerate rabbits and that a rabbit has figured prominently in several of your marvelous adventures. We had to take a lot of ribbing about some of our physical traits when we were puppies because of our spectacular jumping and spinning abilities and because our hind legs were so much longer than our front legs.

We have always thought that you had a peculiar destiny. I have a copy of our birth horoscope that spells it all out. Something about spheres and tunnels and that you are not like other dogs. I'll send it to you under separate cover by snail mail.

But about this "Olaf" aka "T--y", I understand that he has been subjected to a species of brain-washing called obedience training and that he is confined to a jail cell called a crate at night. Ugh! No wonder he is spouting this demented drivel on your blog.

Hold your head high, Pip. You are special. You are not like other dogs.

Jujube