Ode on the EAR........

Oh, EAR (!) - thou arst a beateous thing...

round and round and oval, too

clean or dirty, I *HEART* you!

Little and soft,

Big and fugly...

you make my heart get all warm and snuggly.

Hearing is important, too...

and for keeping my head warm - I love you!

No "muffs" are needed for my ear-est friends -

I needn't follow the latest ear trends.

Big and bold,

white and sassy

one word sums them up ' "classy!"

Yes, some are stumpy, horny and lumpy (ugh!)

others are tall, bony and grumpy (!!)

Some folks love to flaut 'em (Maltilions....heh heh)

But WHERE would be without 'em???????????


Anon ("PIP")

(Burp!)

I guess we had a lot of beer last night...a WHOLE lot of beer....

I don't always drink beer

I have had three other lives, but I don't remember anything about them.

People ask me how I became the most interesting dog in the world. I tell them I don't know.

I am not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I can jump really high. And I can prove it.

No one really knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men and other sentient beings, but I have a pretty good idea.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, it makes me sleepy.

(hic).......)...where are you guys?

I'm In!

How can anyone not want to have a beer with me? Pip, that is. Or a cube?

Bear (the peacemaker) has an IDEA !!!

Can you GUESS what it is?

You be RIGHT!

He wants all fightin' critters on this here blob, er, I mean BLOG to sit down and have a cool one together.

CRITTERS!!!
Is this "do-able" or a typical Bear pipe dream?
Please respond no later than 3 PM today.

Yours truly,













"BLOGO"

(chronicler of misdeeds, mishaps, mistakes, misunderstandings, and mayhem.)

Pippi's got a SWEET new ride!

Not much room for back window sittin' though. Hmmmmm Well, I guess he will just have to make do!

An' further more - you ("Pip") weren't even BORN here!

Ya, a lot of us have gone over your "birth certificate" and noticed that many IMPORTANT details are HIGHLY suspect.....like:

1.) Your so called "parent's" names - which we all know are a LIE as you were hatched from an egg dropped lowered from a SPACE SHIP which came from the planet "Konn9."
BTW, there were, at least, 150 people who are willing to TESTIFY to this event so don't even THINK you can WRIGGLE out of this one!

2.)Birth "location:" Indiana/hooserland. See above!!

PROOF POSITIVE that you are NOT eligible to be an OFFICIAL representative of your species or whatever GENUS you happen to belong to!

This is war, Squeaky the squawkbox!

Nice try on sigging that toothie beast on us but we are WAY smarter than that! tee hee

We gave him a big BITE on that huge SNOOT and got away and then we pulled out our trusty AK47 (cat size) and let the horny beast HAVE it right in his big fat BELLY!

HAHHAHAHHAHAHHA

See the results below!
(If you're tender hearted or sentimental you might want to just skip to the next blog entry (when there IS one, that is)......................................................................................................................................................



Poor beastie!!!!

Now its for sale on BBay - wouldn't he look purty over your mantle, lil girly doggie??????

Uh-oh Kitty Kat

Didn't I tell you to watch out. I guess your little swimming buddy didn't expect a monster. Bad luck. You were warned.

Uh, have I introduced you to my "thwimming buddy?"

His name is "Archie" - we met at the local watering hole (!!) and became BFF's.

He REALLY doesn't like to see me get pushed around, especially by prehistoric, toothy hideously ugly things AND he ALSO doesn't cotton to frilly, frothy lil girly dogs beating up on our kith and kin on the tube or anywhere ELSE!

BTW, thanks for letting me "BORROW" your bandwidth to come in to your precious BLOGG (I figured out the stupid password (!!!!) and make myself right at home.
Nice place ya got here, "Squeaky." I just may hang around for a while...like those creepy dudes in the parking lot ....maybe I'll invite them over for some Jamison's and Fiji water....

Oh-oh, Kitty Cat

That moat is stocked with some of Horton's special friends. And what's with the weird sweater? Won't get far in that!

MOAT? You call that mud puddle a moat???

HAH!! (yourself!!)

I broke my own personal best record for puddle paddling!

What a lark - so - "along comes Limey!!"

Now you're going to pay for all that growling and snarling and, in general, nasty behavior you exude towards my fellow felines on TV - its PAYBACK time, "Ear boy...." so get with it!

You better get together with your "old boy network" of protectors and build a TRIPLE moat around your own precious little three coated hide!
hhehehhehehhee heh meow......

HAH!!!

Note that the threatening cat in the last post is barely afloat in deep water. That's because he is a victim of one of our secret defenses: THE MOAT.

Great work digging this thing on short notice, Horton! And nice landscaping too. We have a few more tricks up our sleeve, Limey.

War Council? I'll give you a "war council?.....

Come an' get it Small Fry!

The War Council

This morning I had to call a war council of my most trusted advisors. I need a wartime consigliere, but as you can see from the photograph, the prospects are not very promising. I do know one thing, sponges and frogs are not going to cut it against Limey.

Present at the meeting were Bear, Moose, KitKat, Horton, and Leopard. They were a pretty sleepy lot even after a snack of liver and cheese. I had to intervene on several occasions, both to wake them up and to restore order. But we have a plan now.

It is a secret plan, so I cannot tell you what it is because then it would not be a secret anymore. Also, none of the participants know what it is either. It is all encrypted, or something like that.

Troubling news, though. I sent Bear, Moose, and Horton the Elephant out to buy mattresses. Either they fell down the stairs in a drunken stupor... Or they were AMBUSHED!!!

WTF!!!!!! I'm pretty shaken up myself.

More to follow when I have collected my thoughts and had a nap.

How Can Anyone Not Like Pip?

Boy, when I think of all the opportunities I have had to bark at cats, and the extraordinary forbearance I have exercised... Well, it makes my blood boil.

Though, actually, when you come to think of it, I have never actually encountered a cat, except on TV, and then I kept my cool. Which is all the more reason to resent this limey cat's extraordinary snottiness. I mean, what did I ever do to it?

Sure, I bark at other dogs, and at people I don't like, and at horses on TV (they are REALLY SCARY). But I have extended my protection to all manner of sentient and insentient beings.

To rabbits and squirrels. To robins and sparrows and even worms, many of which are pictured here as a reminder of how nice I am.

Not to mention frogs and snails. So, I ask you, what is there not to like about me? HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LIKE ME?

JACKASS, eh?

Well, lookee here - a little VAMPIRE KIT I just happened to run across today on EBay.

heh heh.....

Now HOW does it go????? A STAKE through the heart.....cut off the HEAD....NOW we're talking!

BRING IT ON, mackeral breath!!

I'm waiting for you in a place - where you'd LEAST expect to find me......

Heh.....does he REALLY think he can keep me out?

It will be a cold day in HELL before that big eared "Pipsqueak" will be able to keep me off this crappy blog!

I just sneaked in with these rabbits -right under his stupid boards.

What a jackass!

Closed til further notice!

I don't believe it - I just DON'T believe it~

JUST look at what the new spy camera I installed on this crappy (and increasingly irritating blog) caught this morning!!
JUST when I think we've got the whole thing under CONTROL and these pesty CATS have finally been kept out - LOOK at who I found trying to sneak in through the plants - right outside the door of this crappy blog!

Did you EVER see a sneakier looking SNEAK?? I ask you????

This means BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARDS (!!!!!)

I've GOT to come up with some PLAN or SCHEME or DEVICE that will rid me of these PESTS for once and for always so I can get back to the serious business of this BLOG which is

1.) Find out what happened to Snail Heights Eco Development?

2.) Who (or what) kidnapped Mayor Spinaltzzzo?

3.) What REALLY happened to Spongebobby when he fell into that trance that lasted for a really long time - too long, really.

4.)Who (or what) is behind that bizarre underground cult hellhole - remember the ones with the big thing with the huge lips?

5.) Most recently, WHO (no what here) is behind these HORRIBLE workmen who are drilling holes in our "unit" every morning and waking me up out of a sound sleep putting me in a REALLY bad mood for the rest of the day??

KEEP OUT all varmints, critters, CATS, etc.!!

An' don' make me repeat myself, neither!

Y'all GIT! An' don' come back or me and my FRIENDLY sponge will be waitin' for ye down by the gulley an' we'll be PREPARED!!


Clyde ("Pip") Barrow

The limey cat will not be kept away, shrimp!

MEOOOOOWWWWWW!

Tee hee .............

I bet THIS will keep those critters off my blog!

GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRROOOLFF!

"Pip" has spoken.

I see ole "crazy eyes" is back on the prowl, too...

Is there no end to all these varmints that keep popping up on MY BLOG??

I'm going to have to hire a CONSULTANT ("him?") to get to the bottom of these constant invasions into the world of "Pip."

I may have to shut down this whole BLOG thing until I can find the right antidote or hex or PRESCRIPTION to keep them out of my space!

This darn cat is still hanging around...

Hhahahhaha - I hid his glasses. Then he found them - I had to run and hide he was soooo mad.

I'm going to get him, though, just wait....

Have a happy and safe 4th!

What is she up to?

Ole Sarah Barracuda is plottin' and plannin' again. I see a TV show on Fox (where else) in her future. Maybe something on Sunday mornings to discuss politics and "current events."

We never know what the gal is going to do next - that's why we find her fascinating although we HATE HER POLITICS with a VENGEANCE!

I'm always open to learning new "tricks"....

Hmmmm...I wonder if I could pack away some delicious liver bits in my cheeks - for later consumption???

Where is this dude called "Pipsqueak?"

I hear he hangs around these parts.

I, also, hear he's been dissing cats so if you see him, tell him I'm looking for him.....

When I find him he's goona remember me!

HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS......