The Test

The Association has decreed that you must pass three tests in order to lawfully dispense advice.

The first test is below.

1. When Froggie went a'courtin', did he carry weapons of any kind? If so, what were they?

2. When Uncle Rat gave his consent, was he aware of the potential impediments to a union of a frog and a mouse? Would you have given the same advice under the circumstances?

3. Was this the same Rat who used to visit your deck? If so, how did you induce him to leave? Did you offer him any illegal or unsolicited advice in the process?

5. Who was the first to arrive at the wedding feast and what was brought? Did it match the table setting?

6. Who brought the whiskey in a water jug?

7. Some people say the big black snake ate the wedding cake, while others attest he simply chased them to the lake. Discuss the merits of each thesis in ten words or less without giving any advice.

8. Is this the same "Froggie" whom you allege was kidnapped by aliens and held for ransom under Montrose Harbor until you and Bear ransomed him for a cauldron of wild mushroom soup and a keg of corn liquor?

9. We very much hope that if this is true you did not dispense any free advice in the process.