Well, I certainly am on the horns of a dilemma...

I could try to finagle a way to miniaturize myself somehow..and go back to 3" tall and get my step uncle's credit card from the Cystal Terrarium Gobe - but why??  I guess so I could order a bunch of stuff on Amazon that I "need!!."  LOL
See, ole bloggee,  I left it behind accidentally in the Globe when I went to rescue one Colonel Mustardo who went down there for some reason or other.....I just can't recall!  Its all so STUPID!!
Now what I COULD to is just mull things over in front of the cozy fireplace for a while, on my favorite afghan AND  have a 'boilermaker" and just cogitate.....

I wonder if this book I just borrowed from the Public Library

will be able to help get me BACK into the snow globe and get past the scary Globemaster thing so I can retrieve "my" credit card.  It fell out of my pocket when I was so rudely EVICTED the day before yesterday by the aforementioned SCARY thing - see photo above.  At that time I was booted back to my abode and WHO knows WTF happened to the Colonel Mustard (see below.)

As you recall I had to go IN to the snow globe to help that old goat, Colonel Mustard, who SOMEHOW, wound up in same globe when HE went down the secret passage to try to find my scrumptious, one of kind, peanut butter cookies as some SNEAK thief pilfered them from my apt right around Xmas.  Whew!  That's a long story I won't be repeating so, bloggee, you better WRITE IT DOWN!

Anyway,  my big problem is that I've eaten all of the Magic Muffin and crumbs which I nibbled on to make myself small enough to get into the snowglobe.  Bottomline, now  I can't get back in THAT way anymore.  Here is a photo of Col. Mustard, a Teddy Roosevelt clone, for sure.

The slightly AWKWARD thing is that it wasn't exactly MY credit card that fell out of my little pocket.  It was one that I .....obtained....from my step uncle's safe deposit box - don't ask its a long story - so if I EVER want to order anything again (!) I will HAVE to get that card back and quick, too!

There is only a tiny window of opportunity for me to slip in to the globe via that crack I found in its underside - and scoop it up!  I will have to wait til the scary Globemaster is asleep first, of course...
Now let my make a nice cuppa warm milk, sit by the fire on my afghan, and read this book!  Don't come back for AT LEAST a day!  Good bye!!!

Twosies

What to do?  That pesky credit card, might have to go back to the snow globe. Meanwhile...

What can I say?  Liver.  Salmon. Snow peas.  The perfect snack.  Forget about sushi.  That's a pipedream, a chimera, like peanut butter cookies.  This is the real thing.  But then again, sushi, miso, what to do, what to do?

Nothing better than a BIG BOWL of miso soup first....then.....

Yum!

Then some sushi!  I LOVE sushi.  Godzilla and Pink Lady......ooooh.....what is the website for Grub Hub so I can order me some up.
Gotta find my credit card, I know I had it in my pocket along with the crumbs from the Magick Muffin when I was in the snow globe.............UH OH!!!

Awake and Hungry

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

And so he slept.....lil dude, all worn out from a series of "unexpected events" all in pursuit of a forgotten delicious dream.....(peanut butter cookies) which is long forgotten as the little fellow is getting older and his memory isn't what it used to be.
Sleep on, lil dude, sleep on.....

Uh oh!

What just happened to snowman, Colonel Mustard and ME?  This guy is what happened to us. "The Snow Master!"  He pitched us ALL out of his globe (ie. his "empire") and booted us back to our respective landing pads.
Who KNEW such a creature even existed?  What a bully!
Ouch!  I landed right on my I"pad" and that hurt!  I may have a consussion....
"Who am I?"
"Where am I"
"Where the HECK was I?"
I already had an email from  Colonel Mustard and he was RATHER RUDE! 

He told me that I could take my "f'n" cookies and shove them up my......well, you know WHERE (!) and he said I should never ever call on him for HELP again unless it was a REAL emergency and not for somthing STUPID like peanut butter cookies which would be stale as "all hell" anyway.

Ouch!

HELP!!

Something REALLY weird is happening.  I took a little nap and when I woke up Mustard was gone and this WEIRD thing is in here now!
Where is Colonel Mustard?
Where the "F" did he or IT come from???
So far he or "It" hasn't said anything- he just appeared out of the blue!
AWKWARD!!!!

Done

OK.  We're in.  Mustard seems like he is in a bad mood.  Also, in relation to Mustard, I am a lot bigger than before.  He better not get smart.  I can take this guy down in a New York minute.

Well, here goes nothing!

According to the Olde Almanack all Imhave to do is to make a wish and take a few licks of the Magick Muffin and I will shriink, just the right tiny size to sneak into the crack in the snow globe.  There I will be able to confer with Mustard and see what I can do about getting him outta there.
Sadly, the very paragraph about shrinking and growing humans was suspiciously MISSING from the Olde Almanack so we are going to have to do some experimenting on that one......

I have to bring some crumbs from the Magick Muffin in my pocket(!!) to make a reverse wish so I can grow back to my normal size.  I must be extra careful to bring the crumbs!!!  If not it would be DISASTEROUS as I would be trapped in the globe!!!!😳😳😳😳

'Had to go down to the cattycombs this morning and get THE book

that has ALL the answers, after all, NO WAY could I even FIND all that stuff let alone ASSEMBLE it as I am lacking opposable thumbs in case anyone noticed!

No, the ONLY solution will be found in the book WITH ALL THE ANSWERS:

"The Old Farmer's Almanac"

Further Instructions

First off, I'm not drinking that stuff.  No way.  I might wind up like Mustard.

I found more stuff on the Internet.

How to release a prisoner from a snow globe without getting trapped inside yourself and without breaking the globe or releasing the snowman:

You will need the following tools and objects:

White non-gel toothpaste, preferably Wintergreen flavored, non-flouide
Jeweler's rouge (Cerium oxide)
Electric buffer with lamb's wool pad
Warm water
Spray bottle
Clean rag
Dirty rag
Acme hydraulic snow globe fix-it tool (available on-line from Acme Hydraulic Snow Globe Repair LLC, special order, $796,343,299.76 plus shipping and handling, please enter zip code below, extra charges may apply for subterranean deliveries)
Direct current generator
Wind turbine
Small lamb or other fluffy member of the Bovidae family, house-broken
Hoof polish
Shoe shine kit
Airplane cement
Magic quick-release snow globe potion (Warning:  Do not mix cement and potion or drink or sniff either together or separately)
Noise-canceling headphones
Detonator caps
Fulminate of mercury (29 kg. minimum)
Confetti or other lightweight material (3 mg.)
Amniotic fluid (400 ml.)

Prepare your work space carefully, arranging all the materials in a circle roughly surrounding the globe.

Begin by...

Holy cow, this is pretty complicated stuff.  I'm only little.  Help!

"How to release a snow globe prisoner" Wikipedia

"Step one: Determine how subject first entered said globe,

Step two:  See step one.

Step three:  Ditto

Step four:   Go away.

WHAAAAT????

I FINALLY made up my mind to go help the old boy when I peered WAY down the passageway and I saw a small object glistening in the nasty dark.
I ran like the dickens to get my BUTTERFLY NET - and look what I scooped up!  Colonel Mustard has become trapped in a snow globe!
He is trying to communicate with me but I can't hear a WORD he is saying.
Astonishingly he's only 3" tall and just a few days ago he was a fine figure of a man standing way over me - now I'm way over him!
He seems to be SHOUTING at me, I've got to FIND OUT what happened.

Lookee here....we are on the horns of a dilemma ....

to plunge down to help Mustard or to go on our own carefree life with the full knowledge that the dear departed cookies are gone, vamoosed, carried off, etc.
Its like having to have your toothache fixed in a modern office with all the latest gadgetry or having to face one of these medieval dental chairs where you just have to "grin and bear it" - no laughing gas?
We guess this is one of those moments where we have to act like a "grown up pup" or be a sniveling little craven whipped pup......(pardon the illusion...ugh!!) OR - not go to the dentist at all!

The Plot Thickens

Yes, dear reader.  Today I found evidence of even greater skullduggery.   Inwas about to descend into the pit when I found a mysterious receptacle at the entrance.  A wastebasket!

Yes!  Inspecting the wastebasket, what did I find?  I'll tell you.  First, a post office receipt describing the dispatch of a box of cookies.  Accompanying said receipt, a card thanking Him and Her for their thoughful gift.

What's going on here?  Am I the victim of a nefarious plot?  And the postman?  He is seemingly in on it as well.

Poor Mustard!  Have I sent him on a fool's errand?  To his demise, or whaterver.

Guilt and misgivings abound.

And by the way, those stupid flippers don't fit.  They are going back.

Just come back from Ambercrombie & Fitch.....

They fully geared me up from their vast inventory.  Seems, this is the latest outfit for a deep spelunking dive.
They jammed me into this neoprene suit... even trimmed my beautiful ear feathers, and clipped me down to a nubbin, so to speak.
I don't even look like myself!
Totally embarrassed but.....it has to be done!  For country, peanut butter cookies and my colonel!
Tally ho, old sport..the next missive you will get from me is.....from done below!!

One Side...

One side of me says go down there, he was your friend, you owe him, etc.


The other side says don't be a chump, he had it coming, he was a fool, etc.

What to do?

This is the last webcam shot we have of the olde gentleman....

A nonogenarian, with a heart o' gold, for sure. 
Who would have thought he would put his life on the line for a plate of peanut butter cookies- even scrumptious ones!
Whatta guy!
We are coming, Colonel Mustard!!  Hang on, olde boy!

And the day he discovered KIng Solomon's Mine....

his list of fantastic discoveries and such would fill an ENCYCLOPEDIA and yet....WHERE IS HE NOW?
Summary:  Our own plate of scrumptious peanut butter cookies was STOLEN from under our nose on Xmas Eve (dastardly!) THEN, investigating the heinous crime,  we found a secret passageway out on the stairs and, since we are so LITTLE and all, our old pal and boon companion, Colonel Mustard, went down to try to locate the missing delectibles.   The sweet aroma of fresh baked cookies filled the air!
Then POOF - he was there  - and then he was GONE and NOW I hear a wee, distant voice calling  "PIPPPP!!"  "HELP!!!" so, after a very strange, LSD tinged dream, I know it is now MY duty, even though I am STILL little - to lower myself down the scary hole and try to find the good Colonel or I'm not "Pip" - and I AM!

Colonel Mustard - oh?

So sad to see him in such a PICKLE now...look upon one of his days of grandeur....when he was modeling for MOUNT RUSHMORE itself at one time - and how inspiring it would be to have his distinguished visage perched up there among the ultimate daddy's of our nation!

Oh woe is Pip!

Mustard wants me to go down/up to the center of the frigging UNIVERSE!  Hey, I'm only 9 lbs (well, 10) and a DOG so what am I supposed to do?  Snap my dew claws and click my paws and just BE THERE???

WHHHAAA??? Mustard has fallen into the Big Bang?

Look way down there - Mustard! 
And he's calling ME - yours truly - "HELP ME PIP!"
DO I have the .....courage to go down the BIG SLIDE into the beginning of the universe?

?????????

Yikes - what a dream!

I dreamed I took a bunch of weird stuff and pills and THEN I fell down the mystery passageway - 'saw spirals and bugs and CRAZY stuff.
Then, right before I woke up I saw THIS!!! 

A Bad Trip?

Did it have to be bugs?  Termites, whatever.  Wake me up, Mustard, or I'm out of here!

I'm faaaallllling......and I CAN'T get up......

Is this really happening or am I dreeeaaammmmingg????  I hear someone calling my name....PIIIIIIPPPPP.....HELP ME!!!!!! 
Is that you, Colonel Mustardo????  OR is it part of my hallucenogenic TRIP???

An hour later.....we are OUT THERE....like Alice chomping on a mushroom, fell down the hole...

Ah, now for a litle nap.....I need to chill, 'been through so much lately. Sigh.....

Wow - I heard some new words today!!

It seems her Eee Male (?) was "all f'd up" (except she didn't say "f'...)
Something about Apples and Geemale and digging up old sh*t from a month ago.
Yikes!  I needed another Boilermaker - and then some - and me just about to go down to the "tombs" to bail out Col. Mustard.....frankly, bloggee, I fear the worst in regard to the old gentleman....'haven't heard from him in almost a week....and that ain't good!
Well, let me go and do a little "R and R" for awhile - we can't take the stress around here!

We think before we go down the tunnel looking for that impetuous old Mustard.....one of these

looks mighty good - slainte, bloggees....wish me luck!

Well, here I go, bloggee!

Wish us luck.

Here I come, Colonel Mustard!!  Hang on....Pippi's on the way...

(NOW what do I do next?.......scared!

Ah, sweet mystery of youth, at last I found ye....

I had an unsettling dream to be sure.  I dreamed I was a mere pup.  A funny looking (but adorable) lil dude with huge ears and a winsome kisser.  Oh, those were the days...
Riding around in a Mexican bag, trying to squeeze into a cheap Elvis velour jumpsuit (ouch!) (is there any other type.....LOL???)
Yes, I had my "ups n' downs" - a scary long hallway, an architect bed with room to "do my thing" underneath (yes I did!!!) lots of white chocolate martini's, a Buddhist altar for the previous fellow who met a bad end (sob! for him).....and then there was me.....newly adopted, adapting to the sweet smell of cooking liver.....those were the days! 
Will they ever return - times when my worst problem was my fear of going outside....
NOW I have a big problem!!
My dear UNCLE Colonel Mustardo....missing in action and I've promised to lower myself (so to speak) into the "Lower Depths" and save his heinie. 
Yes, still no word ....so you know what THAT means.....(sob!)

Bad Dreams?

Is this from Mustard?  Or from my subconsious mind?  This image was with me when I woke up.  Some alien creature has invaded my toybox.  Or is it the last photo sent from that poor, reckless Colonel down below.  The bloody rope or Red Rooster's tail?  Who can say for certain. Troulbled sleep.

,

Am I Losing It?

OK! OK!  I hear you, Mustard.  What can I do?

Is my face red?

Would you look at what I just found?  OMG! 😡

Right where I hid them a week or more ago!  Under the Chinese chest - way in the back by the wall.  I never thought anyone would ever find them there....turns out, that included me!

Only thing is they are all mushy and yucky now..  No thanks.  But guess what, NOW I can't find my favorite Pip Treats....frozen salmon nuggets.  Did I hide them, too?  That would be weird as they have to be frigerated.

Oh, the whole thing is just making me weary.  There's Col. Mustard, who"went missing" after descending down the bizarre 'tunnel' I found under the hidden door on the outside hall stairs.  Then  the apparent WORMHOLE he found right before he "went missing" to  the home of the ORANGE WORM and his gaudy lair - ugh!!

Lastly, there was my impromptu and somehea immature  PROMISE to the Colonel to go down the "tunnel" and rescue him.  (What was I thinking, blogee?)  Is he waiting for me to go down there? Hmmmmm.....have to sit on that one awhile.....hope he's not in any IMMEDIATE danger or anything...sigh....

Well, the whole thing gives me a big headache - think I will take nice nap!  TTYL.

Hmmm....in the heat of the moment...did I make a "boo boo?"

Yes, it was a noble sentiment .....to swear to go down the "tunnel" and try to rescue poor Colonel Mustard ....yet when one considers the scope....the magnitude....the gravity of such a statement made in haste and HONEST concern and empathy...still....its a SOBERING thought.....
(WHAT have I done???)
Do I REALLY want to go down......there....with those .....people?  Of course, rescuing old Mustard is paramount in my frontal lobe....yet.....so much to mull over....for example:

I'm afraid of heights - everyone who knows me knows this!

I just got groomed (what a pain!) - do I really want to get all icky and be a "dirty bird?"

Is there room for me to tote "Bubba," my best pal and boon companion?  I don't think so!

My human mom and dad would be SO miserable if anthing untoward happened to me!  Their poor, wine soaked lives would be over!! 🍷and that would be so sad....for them!

Oh, NO!

Look who was behind the scary door!!!

This was the last photo old Mustard was able to snap before all communications were cut off!
What can it mean.....had he somehow entered a WORMHOLE and wound up ....there???  You know - THERE!  With THEM????

Mustard, hang on man, I'm going to try to  descend myself to come to your assistance!!!
Hang on, old man....Pip is coming down!! (If possible....)

Colonel Mustard! Colonel Mustard?

Oh, oh,  Don't say I didn't warn him.  I told him it might be dangerous.  I mean, how am responsible if the worst has happened, which, sadly, I am afraid might be the case.

Trying to establish contact now.  He seems to be sending photos via IM.  Weak wi-fi connection down there.  Taking a long tome to load.

Impetuous fellow, you know.  Headstrong.  Didn't want to listen to anyone.  Couldn't be bothered to attend briefings.  Now where has it got him.  Rather him than me.  Caveat emptor and all that rot.

Good luck, Colonel!

YIKES!!

What the heck??  Looks like something out of an abandoned state mental hospital or something!  Could the notorious earmuff thief live in that horrible place?  OMG!

I wonder what (or who???) lies behind that door???  Scary!!

"Be CAREFUL, COLONEL!!!"

Oh, THERE he is!!

"Colonel MUSTARD!!!  How are you doing?  Can you see anything  yet???"

"You CAN???  There's a DOOR?   Lemme see! Take a photo and send it up to me!"