Ah, sweet mystery of youth, at last I found ye....

I had an unsettling dream to be sure.  I dreamed I was a mere pup.  A funny looking (but adorable) lil dude with huge ears and a winsome kisser.  Oh, those were the days...
Riding around in a Mexican bag, trying to squeeze into a cheap Elvis velour jumpsuit (ouch!) (is there any other type.....LOL???)
Yes, I had my "ups n' downs" - a scary long hallway, an architect bed with room to "do my thing" underneath (yes I did!!!) lots of white chocolate martini's, a Buddhist altar for the previous fellow who met a bad end (sob! for him).....and then there was me.....newly adopted, adapting to the sweet smell of cooking liver.....those were the days! 
Will they ever return - times when my worst problem was my fear of going outside....
NOW I have a big problem!!
My dear UNCLE Colonel Mustardo....missing in action and I've promised to lower myself (so to speak) into the "Lower Depths" and save his heinie. 
Yes, still no word ....so you know what THAT means.....(sob!)