Wassup with this....?

While heating up some fresh made corn liquor last night me and bob found THIS dude in the microwave.
Rather ODD, wouldn't you say? We took him out and so far he's not saying anything - just looking mysterious.

If ANYONE can explain his presence is the aforementioned MICROWAVE please contact me at:

Weirddudeinmicrowave.com

I am NOT amused.

"Jettie, Jettie, JETTIE (!)" That's all I heard about last night after the two of them waltzed in about 9 hours AFTER my anticipated DINNER was TO BE consumed as I had HOPED!
NO - I had to wait and wait for MY SUMPTIOUS MEAL while they were out with "JETTIE" this and "that!"
"Pip," you will HAVE to meet JETTIE - she is SOOOO cute" and "Pip, Jettie is smaller than YOU and she is soooo SWEET!"
Hmmmmph. Like I said - I am NOT amused (!!) and 'have NO INTENTION of EVER meeting this "Jettie" person! GO AWAY!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

This will be me after my 'UGE dinner of DELICIOUS cheese and SCRUMPTIOUS liver! Can you tell I will be STUFFED???
The best thing to do after a good FEAST is to go to your room and go to sleep for several hours. You can come back out after the first round of dishes are done and dessert is on the way!
Love me some WHIPPED CREAM and "punkin' pie!!"
Have a good day and tomorrow we'll resume with the adventures of those WILD and CRAZY snails - and wazzup (!) with those HOLOGRAMS???

Something HIGHLY UNUSUAL is going on here.....

Now you see it - now you DON'T!
After hearing about the "bizarre series of events" going on over at "Pickle Acres" regarding the GREAT HOLE, the on-going slum-to-be, the proposed mega bucks mega community and the VIRTUAL overnight disappearance of the historic "Pickle Hacienda," Bob and I decided to take a jug of corn pone take a little stoll over there to see just what the HECK was going on!!

Look what we found (!!!) - Dracula's FRIGGIN castle -WOW!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF is going ON there - can SOMEBODY TELL US, BLOGGEE?????
The really WEIRD thing is THIS....when we actually went UP to the "castle" to check it out - we could put our paws RIGHT through the "walls!"
Bob said he once "read" a book (I highly doubt THAT!!) about "holograms" that is, something that LOOKS like its there but its REALLY just an IMAGE of the thing being PROJECTED from somewhere ELSE!!

Well, we had to sit down a spell, have a little 'pone and mull that one over....

After a LOT of "mulling" and "pone swilling" we decided that maybe the WHOLE THING had been "holograms" - the original "hacienda" - the "tearing down" of the aforementioned "hacienda" and now - "Dracula's Castle" (!!!) NONE of them ACTUALLY EXISTED but were, in fact, HOLOGRAMS being projected on a "green screen" (like what the weatherman does on tv) in order to do SOMETHING.....but what??????

Slumlord shocker in "Snail Heights!"

Look at this picture, will you? The sordid conditions!! There are FOUR tiny birds trapped in that WEIRD "house!"
I ask you.!!
Bob and I took a little trip to "Heaven's Glen" or whatever that little ratb*stard, Dr. Pickles (Pickled?)and his "Slick & Slicker" real estate agency, are calling his potential "slum o' the future"and these are the conditions we found!!

Appalling. I mean, four little birds packed into a small nest. I ask you. Is this how you want to be treated, my dear blogee?

Do NOT, I repeat, do not give this charlatan any of your hard-earned cash! Don't under ANY circumstances fall for his false advertisements. It is all an illusion. HOLOGRAMS - they really don't EXIST -they just LOOK like they really EXIST! We are going to sneak over there tonight and check out the new "Castle" - we will find out how REAL it is, if you get my DRIFT!

Meanwhile the real conditions are captured in this photo - SHOCKING I tell you. The little dudes had to get oxygen when they were liberated!
It took a LOT of work, and some of you may say rough treatment.
I employed the famous jaws of life, my little choppers. It was the only tool we had. But we freed the little fellows, and we are mighty proud of them and of our work. They are pretty cute. One of them - the green one with the long beak - sings a jaunty little tune. The others just squeak. Squeaks of pleasure to my ears. Freedom, kids, enjoy it.

"We're sorry - sooooo sorry....."

Dear BLOGGEE,

In order for you to ACCEPT my most FORCEFUL APOLOGY for the RUDE and BESTIAL blog entry below written by a certain SPONGE that we all know - I am sending you a photo of ME!

It seems he got into (literally) some "bad liquor" last night and went a little nutz on the computer.

As you may have garnered he's slightly possessive about the new mega bucks development, "Heavenly Glen" and wants to it all for HIMSELF!!

HUH? I mean.....he's a SPONGE (!) therefore HARDLY eligible to qualify for a LOAN be it "sub-prime" or "jumbo" or "ARM" - whatever! Even Fannie Mae or Freddie Mack would give HIM the "cold shoulder!"

Also, he's HARDLY in a position to rub shoulders (cold or otherwise) with the very ELITE stratosphere of HIGH SOCIETY! Yikes! Even I, "PIP", would be somewhat cowed by them!!

Please!!!

Wouldn't YEW *heart* living in a place like this???

Well, EAT DIRT!
There is NO way that the likes of YOU could EVER in a MILLION YEARS live in a place like THIS!
Like I said - EAT DIRT!
Now - erase the picture from your feeble BRAIN! GO AWAY!
And I MEAN IT now - GO!
Signed, "SpongeBob"

A FEW housing concepts available for you....

at splendid "Heavenly Glen!"
In order to satisfy the individual demands of our discriminating buyers we offer MANY unique designs, one more attractive than the next.
Do you seek solitude in the "woods" or would you prefer to hang from a treetop, and swing in the breeze? How about your own private island, hundreds of miles from anywhere?
Do you long for a communal lifestyle ala the "Manson Family?"
Anything is POSSIBLE at......."you know where.."
Just whisper your secret dreams and fantasies to your sales professional - all the "fun" of going to confession WITHOUT the concommitant guilt and anxiety!
Come - visit us at our attractive new sales facility and open the portal to your "future life...."

Hey Ji! Thanks for the kind remarks!

Hope all is well with you!! Is your line drawing any "straighter?"" LOL! "We"decided to skip the "figure" class - how about you?

(And now, In a desperate attempt at "damage control")-

!SPECIAL MIDNIGHT EXTRAVAGANZA!
.............................................................................................
"Slick & Slicker," sales representatives for the mega exclusive "Heavenly Glen" planned community, is offering an EXQUISITE gift available only for the first few fortunate home seekers who present themselves Thanksgiving Night at the "Heavenly Glen" sales office!



..............................................................................................

"NO, your eyes don't deceive you (no matter how old and beady they may be...) for your phoning DELIGHT - a tiny diamond encrusted mobile telephone.
YES, weighing only 15 lbs, ten thousand tiny flawless diamonds flash brilliantly whenever your phone rings, alerting anyone within eyesight how POPULAR and WEALTHY you are OR MAY be! *WATCH* how people's attitude towards you CHANGES! OBSERVE their ENVY and JEALOUSLY bordering on outright HATRED! ENJOY the DEFERENCE you receive, and YES - DEMAND!
.............................................................................................................................................................
This and MORE can ALL be YOURS ---- a new LIFE through sparkling TELEPHONY (!!) - simply present yourself at our magnificent SALES facility located at "11 Haute Centre" at MIDNIGHT, Thanksgiving night!
First six customer in line receive an ERMINE carrying case studded with imported cuttle bones!
...........................................................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................................................

GRUDGE REPORT, Vol I, No. 3

***HOT*** OFF THE WIRE!!!!!!

From the "JUST SAYIN'" column:

"Informed sources" tell us a BIZARRE series of events regarding the proposed exclusive, mega bucks residential/celestial community, "Heavenly Glen," has ROCKED "Snail Heights."

Well, remember (from like YESTERDAY???) that the famous "Pickle Hacienda" was, apparently, the victim of an overnight TEAR DOWN and that the aforementioned MAGNIFICENT planned community was (suspiciously) going to be built ON THE VERY SAME LOCATION??

Well (!!) we JUST heard a terrible "near disaster" occurred at the construction site this morning during the ground breaking ceremony !
As the red satin ribbon was being cut and the earth movers began DIGGING - the mayor of "Snail Heights", "Mr. Spinaltso" tripped over a branch and FELL DOWN A HUGE HOLE! He completely disappeared from view!
Rushing to his aid, onlookers saw that he was DESPERATELY holding on by only ONE antenna (!) After a few seconds, (Hey! He only weighs 1/16th of an ounce being a......snail and all...) they were able to lift him out and were then HORRIFIED to see that he had been, in fact, DANGLING over a TREMENDOUS ABYSS that appeared to go down to the very CENTER OF THE EARTH!

Mute with fear, Mayor Spinaltzo lay on the ground huffing and puffing and then COMPLETELY retreated into his whirlygig shell. He hasn't come out since!!

WOW~~~!!!

More later......keep tuned, Bloggee, - I bet you didn't think THAT was "BORING!!" didja??

GRUDGE REPORT, Vol !, No. 2:

Hmmmmmmm....this anonymous tidbit JUST came in over the transom....I don't think "Mr. Pip" is going to care for this one very much! HAHHAHHAHAHHAHHA !

Submitted by......"Anonymouse":
- - --Has anyone noticed in our FAVORITE website, "Yelp", some very negative reviews of "Pip's Ear" blog????
.............................................................................................................................................................
"YELP"
Posted by "Nanook"
November 20, 2008: Review: "PIP'S EAR BLOG" *****no stars*****



" I must say that the blog, "Pips Ear" is one of the STUPIDEST and more BORING blogs on the whole internet!
Its, supposedly, by this "adorable" little white "designer pooch" who is very "paranoid" and who lives on "Lake Shore Drive" with "him and her" and his "best friend" - a dried up, dirty old sponge named "Bob."
I say "ugh!! to ALL of them!!

First of all I don't think any of that is true AND whats more (!!!) WHOEVER writes the damn thing is INSANE over EXCLAMATION MARKS (!!!) and friggin' CAPITAL LETTERS plus the grammar, SPELLING and punctuation are definitely that of a HIGH SCHOOL DROP OUT OR WORSE!
So put that in your "SNAILARIUM" and EAT IT (!!!)

PLUS the whole bunch of them (IF they existed - which I VERY much doubt) - are really STOOPID and don't even NO that they have a MUCH smrter and CUTER and NOT PARANOID person around if they wood ONLY open there SMUDGED UP eyes that are gummed together with TOO MUCH CHEEP MASCARA and see that person's grate BEAUTY and snow WHITENESS and MAGNIFCINT RED BOW TYE!!! So THERE!!!! I HATE THYM!!!!

luv, "NANOOK"

"Heavenly Glen" - luxury living and THEN some.....

......................................................
IMPORTANT NOTE to "regular" readers of the now infamous "Pips Ear" blog!
........................................................
Due to escalating COSTS, we are now forced to accept paid ADVERTISEMENTS.
...........................................................
We hope this slight inconvenience will not affect your enjoyment of this highly creative diversion by a pampered, spoiled and slightly (!) paranoid Lake Shore Drive designer "pooch."


------------------------------------------------
"HEAVENLY GLEN" - luxury living and THEN some..........
......................................................................................................................................................

Have YOU been seeking???

"Penthouse" suites?......... FUGGET ABOUT IT!

"Heavenly" views?..........SHUDDUP!

"Futuristic?" .......................... You're KIDDING, right?

"Exclusivity???" ...................... Don't even ASK!

"Spiritual advancement??".................You're beginning to BORE me!!

"Immortality???".............I'm OUTTA here!


If you don't want to just EXIST (!) - but you want to LIVE, LIVE LIVE - here is the premier shopping/dining/housing/divine communing development of the 22nd century - "Heavenly Glen" - located in the private, gated "Snail Heights" enclave!!

Lets sit back in our DEEPLY dimpled leather settee and imagine a COMPLETELY unique shopping/living/divine communing environ hidden away in pristine wilderness that has it ALL - and I mean ALL - including its own satellite launch pad and branch of the Library of Congress.

Take a sip from your favorite sherry and view the silken brochure offering residential opportunities available to only the most discriminating residents.

Yes, its a true planned development able to fulfill all your needs from birth to death and in between.

Now, for the first few fortunate applicants, a special gift is offered:

A specially designed 24k, jewel encrusted crematorium urn.

Hope to see you soon at our brand new DESIGN CENTRE - come and select the DIVINE floor plan of your choice!

Hey, psssst......Bloggee, check THIS out!! WOW!

We had a REAL CELEBRITY
RIGHT here in Snail Heights.

Me and Bob read the VERY interesting post in the fascinating "Grudge Report" this A.M. - about the proposed tear down of the Spanish hacienda so we went down to the Hall of Records and found out the exact address of the hacienda in question:

14 Meadowswallow Lane and it belonged to Dr. Hiram Walker Pickles, III who,oddly enough - we hear is now MISSING!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, with a brief trot to the Public Library where we found that the VERY same "Dr. Pickles" has QUITE a "bio." as listed in the latest edition of "Snail Heights Who's Who."


Well, after the DEED WAS DONE and the (sob...) beautiful HACIENDA was destroyed by the wrecker's cruel ball - Bobby and I left the library and went tip toeing down to the excavation site and once there we found some VERY interesting STUFF!
(See above photos!)

- But, I digress, bloggee, let's go back to when we first LOCATED the aforementioned Dr. Pickles - the little well garbed dude was crawling up the side of the patio wall gnawing through the limestone - that’s right, did you know snails can gnaw through limestone?!!!
I didn’t, ......the little creeps!!.
(How do you know ANYTHING these days? The whole WORLD seems upside down!

Anyway, the "bio" on the microfilm told us that his antennae are insured by AIG, which, of course, isn’t saying much because they are bankrupt. (My ears are insured by Lloyds of London, HAH!!!)
His "slime" (ugh!!) cannot be consumed by bacteria without special authorization from his exclusive agent, "Little Doritt". Give me a break, will ya!
But the JUICY TIDBIT is this - FURTHER digging in the much neglected microfilm archives uncovered the above photo of the so-called lower level of the RUBBLE (Note FANCY false front on the still to throw off any unwanted visitors!!
But LOOK - we found a GENUINE (illegal as hell) "STILL" - as in MOONSHINE, as in CORN PONE BOOZE (YUM!!!), as in raids by the Alcohol and Firearms Control people!!!
The secret formula uses apples and carrots and dandelion leaves. Just about all the stuff that snails LOVE and keep nagging us for all the time. Now we know what’s going on down there under the special pebbles and rocks and whatnot. HAH!! We were suckers!!
Look at what that crook, Pickles, was writing about HIMSELF!!

"The Most Interesting Snail PhD in the UNIVERSE!"

Dr. Hiram Walker Pickles -

"He doesn’t always drink Poteen, but when he does… "


WHOA!!!! Copycat!!!! Traitor!!!!!. Snotnose (and I mean that literally)!!! He's trying to copy MY "Most Interesting Dog in the World" tribute - the rat!!!

Bob says let’s not be hasty here, let’s not jump to rash judgments, it’s live and let live, OK, so he’s a little crook, blah, blah, blah, but that old brew is mighty tasty. Mighty TASTY.
And I must say he has a point there....YUM!!!!

GRUDGE REPORT, Vol I, No. 1:

GRUDGE REPORT:

Dishin' the DIRT:

Unnamed sources are "JUST SAYIN'":

The "foreclosure" recently listed in stylish north "Snail Heights" (up in the hills) has already been
"eyeballed" by a neighbor as a possible TEAR DOWN (!!)

We "Grudgsters" would SURE hate to see THAT happen.
As you know we have been leaders in the never ending battle of the preservationists vs tacky developers who want to move in and take over our secret and secluded neighborhood and turn it into a boring, cookie cutter mega development totally lacking character and individuality(!)
We would HATE (!) to see this happen now in "Snail Heights" as we have seen it in SO many older (2 weeks or more) communities.

Let's hope its just a NASTY, TACKY rumor, ok, "Grudgee??"

We STILL can't believe that among all these guys.....

"That One" is the President of the U.S. - can you???

Bob and I feel its our CIVIC DUTY to say "64 days!!!"

and counting!!!!

Snail Heights SHOCKER (!)

Check out this sign that was just posted this morning on Mr. Spinozzo's house. The whole town is SHOCKED - SHOCKED I tell you!

"Due to unexpected financial reversals in ARGULA market futures, the owner is forced to sell his spectacular, rambling Spanish hacienda.

Amenities include:

5 snail caves, 14 slither paths (with jacuzzi misters) central vac system, indoor pond and waterfall, 1000 egg hatchery, wall to wall pebbles, stainless appliances, granite counter tops and counters, 4.2" cabinets.
Lift plant on the left for key - show yourself inside - all offers considered!!!

And while we are speaking about "cool"......

This is my cookie friend, Marilyn. She is cool (!)

She feeds me CHEESE, she brought me a SPECIAL cookie man and THEN....she gave me even MORE cheese!

I *HEART* her VERY much.

She and "her" are old timey friends back from when they were "Sandburg babes" and used to go to "Butch's" and "Arnie's" and "Harry's" ( I wonder who THOSE guys were......hmmmmmmmm????)

Anyway, she's cool and she sure knows a good cookie when she sees one!

Welcome to the magical kingdom of...."Snail Heights"

Enjoy life in the sublime, secluded hamlet of "Snail Hts."
Its a quaint and charming gated community tucked away in a wooded glen along a babbling brook.
Choose your own private building site and create your own little slice of paradise.
Be it a colonial mansion, aka "Tara," a simple zen yurt for meditating and reflecting or a SWINGIN' 50's bachelor pad where you and your "pals" (non terrorists, we hope!!) can dance the night away spinning "78's" on your RCA stereo. Is this what you have been seeking all your life??? Then "Snail Heights" is the place for you!
Among the amenities are: olympic sized swimming pool
ground cover of choice dandelion and arugula leaves
100% pure cuttlebone
mantle overlay of rare terrarium grade pebbles
select bark elements from ancient Lincolnian forest trees
nightly mistings of pristine Eternal water spray

Come join our charming community - be as lively or as solitary as you wish - all the while
living in a natural, protected, 100% "green" eco system free from the contaminants, noise and pollution of the outside world.
Building sites beginning at $.05 to $2.20.
Sale office open from 11PM - midnight, Mon-Fri.
Hope to see you REAL SOON!!

Yikes - The armies of the night are forming - NOW!!

(Hats off to Little Dorrit for this intelligence, and kudos to whoever installed the surveillance equipment.)

Wow - We now have proof POSITIVE of the plots against us.
Behold the traitor, "Duck" - who is gathering an army of ducks and other foul fowl creatures. Soon, Little Dorit says, he will be ready to move against US!
His new ally, "Bear", is, also, recruiting among the "Bear" people. Is this the two front war the "dead dudes" warned me about?

But so far I have some LOYALISTS, mainly the followers of "Halloween Bear" and the Christmas bears who are buried deep within the Well of Toys.

Trouble is brewing. WHO can I count on? YOU??? I don't THINK so!!! HA! That's a GOOD one!!
The "rabbits".....yes, but what good are rabbits in a fight? Ditto the frogs.
Half of them have been kidnapped anyway, and are probably SOUP by now.
"Banana Man", right, but again, can you count on a banana when the chips are down? Geez, I need help. Maybe the elephants can help? I must not panic. I MUST NOT PANIC!

Cripes! It's nap time. What am I going to do? They could move on me in my sleep. Zzzz. Whoa, who's there? Help!!!

Feast your eyes on ...."Dr. Pickles" (!)

What a GLORIOUS morning, Bloggee, we've had aNOTHER "special event" - yes, the slippery slimery of another tiny WHIRLEYGIG toter has been found/grabbed - oddly in the EXACT SAME PLACE as "Little Dorrit" - hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Anyhoo, "he" brought him in, dumped him in the SNAILARIUM on top of a fresh hunk of apple.
Welcome to a little slice o' heaven, "DR. PICKLES!" Allelulia!!
BTW, (yawn..)"she" applied for a JOB as a dog writer or something and thinks THIS BLOG will seal the deal for her.....hahahahahhahahhhaha.
I don't THINK SO - not with all these crazy """"""'s and !!!!!!!!!!'s - not to mention the PLETHERA of ABCDEFGHIJKLMN's - YIKES (!!!""") is she INSANE??

Is THIS what they mean by "frog soup??"

Oh, I GET it - its soup that frog's like to eat! WHEW!!

Much Better!!

A photo is worth a thousand words....

Our NEW best friend (me and Bob's that is....)

See her there - at the bottom of the picture on the beige rock - right in the middle?

That's "Little Dorrit" (I bet you ALREADY knew that didn't you??)

Well, not only is she as cute as lil button (awwwww.....) but she is a lively little thing and quite the GOSSIP!

We had a VERY interesting chat with her last night (over a few dozen TINY TEENY mugs of fresh brewed corn pone) and she really "opened up" about some VERY strange stuff she's been seeing around here.

First of all, she said that "Bear" and "Duck" (remember him - our "mortal enemy") had been quite chummy lately and have been doing quite a bit of confabbing - definitely up to no good!
When they see her listening (they can TELL???) they run away or change the subject like they start talking about the STOCK MARKET or planning a vacation to ARUBA or something (!)
We're going to plant a mic over by the old toy box where they hang out and see what they are up to.....

WOW - can we move HERE???

I know it belongs to "you know who" (rhymes with "Failin") in "you know where (rhymes with "Nebraska") but it sure is COOL!

I can JUST see myself and Spongebob curled up on that leather sofa in front of that wierd fireplace thingee.

Oooooh, LOOKEE (!!) I think I can see RUSSIA out the window!!

Before we go back to the FASCINATING search for ...

"TIP N'TAP" - here is something COOL!
(Photo of he and Ethel Kennedy)


50 things I betcha didn't know about Barack...

Sarah is one BAAAAAD girl! Yuck!

Wow - I knew she was awful but THIS is terrible!

I KNOW I'm in a new "story line" about "Tip n' Tap" but

I just CAN'T HELP myself - I LOVE this "Palin Name Generator thing"!

Give it one more "go, ok, Bloggee???? You WON'T regret it!!

signed.....(get this....) HAHAHHHAHAHA


CRUTCH CAMP PALIN ........HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA (sorry - I can't....well, you know.....HELP IT!!!

Try THIS!

Are YOU the ones who kidnapped "Tip" and "Tap??"

GIVE THEM BACK - WHOEVER NABBED THEM!!!!!!!

What kind of a MONSTER what kind of, I don't know what, WHAT, I ask you, Bloggee, who would kidnap an innocent snail who never hurt ANYONE , and make it into ...SOUP???

These were my PALS. I found them. I nurtured them. Now they are GONE.....sob....

Yeah, sure, "he" TRAPPED some of their COUSINS and put them in a SNAILARIUM.
Whoop de do! I mean, where are Tip and Tap. Are they SOUP?

Me and Bob were out on the deck all morning searching. Nothing. Not a TRACE!

Who is behind this devils PLOT? I want answers!!!!. Where are you, "Tip and Tap"?

If you grabbed them to sell them for ESCARGOT, dear BLOGGIE, I'll find out!!!

Isn't he/she BEAUTIFUL????

Bloggees - allow me to introduce to you - the ONE - the ONLY......
"Little Dorrit!"
Isn't he/she SWEET??? He/she is TINY and has a very delicate cream and tan"WHIRLYGIG!"

We put her in the SNAILARIUM and she (since I've named her "Little Dorrit" I am going to claim she is a "SHE") is getting along very well.
SO far she has scooted (and SLIMED) on the bark, had some apple and is getting around like a little SONOFAGUN.
YOU GO, GIRL!!!

We *HEART* her EXTREMELY!!!

Barack Obama sings "Disco Inferno?"

Here's the article - hit the "true" link - ENJOY!!
Yep, its true.

Gee, I sure wish "Joe the plumber" had a web site!

Read about "Samuel" - er, I mean "Joe" HERE.

Hmmmm.. what do you think, Bloggee??

The first one is the original "runway" dress - the second one was adapted for Michelle.

Like I said, hmmmmmmmmmmm....

He got 'er DID! Hooray!! All paws UP!!!!

President-Elect Barack Obama!!!

Keepin' my paws crossed......

Fired UP, Ready to GO (!!!!!)

Sigh....this is what democracy looks like....

People waiting in line in Chicago this morning:

DING!!! 15 minutes, are up dude! Move along......

Read about "poor" Joe.....

Cute election word game - world wide participation!!

This is fun!! Try it!

I wonder who he voted for????

Wow check these out

Whoa! THIS one is like "Ozzie and Harriet" cute!

This is my dream house.......sigh....

I can just see myself living here - isn't it SWEET?
I think "they" are going to get me one of them.

"The whole world is watching....."

Read this.

Two snaps and a rewind to this!

HALLOWEEN CAPER - CULPRITS UNMASKED!!

It was a dark and spooky night - "They" went off to an Obama rally somewhere far away ("Be a GOOD BOY, Pip, we won't be home until LATE blah blah blah...." - standard spiel for being left alone all night to fend for myself! Who's going to CHANGE my paper and give me cheese???)
Hmmmmpf!!!
Anyway,...off "they" went and then the .....*FUN* began! Tee hee!!

Guess what??? Little SCRUFFIANS came by here - BEGGING for candy. The stuff they left out by the pumpkin didn't satisfy the little hell raisin' yuppy puppies so they SMEARED the windows with yucky stuff (we don't care to know about too closely)
"TRICK OR TREAT - KMA!!"
As soon as we were "hip" to their skullduggery - I put on my witch hat (!)and gathered together a little posse of trusted friends, "Corporal Oh-Oh", "The Thinking Lion", and "Halloween Bear" and we SNUCK OUTSIDE!
Lets just say we CAUGHT up with them and did a little INCOME REDISTRIBUTION of our own, especially good ole "Halloween Bear" who carried a little orange sack for this very purpose! It was a pleasure to see the little BEGGARS turn tail and run!
See photos above - me with trusty witch's hat, the "gang" of 3, and our "booty(!)"
Quite a little haul, wasn't it?
OH - on the way home we found a HORRIBLE insect DRONE who was SPYING on us - sent by YOU KNOW WHO!! We, also, took CARE of him!!
Hah, hah, hah!!!

By the time "they" rolled on home, we were all sound ASLEEP like little angels - asleep on our wonderful observation hassock.
"Pip, I hope you were a GOOD BOY tonight" "she" said.......tee hee - I was good, alright, VERY GOOD!!

WTF??

Lookie what I found on the dining room table (ya, I sit there - do you MIND??) this morning!
AND it had an inscription, TOO!

"To "Bear" Thanks for the contribution."
signed by the Republican National Committee - Do you BELIEVE it??

He's a RETHUGLICAN living right here in my house??? How did I not know about it??

When I looked at the envelope it said he was a "precinct captain" - 46th Ward. Yow! Who woulda THUNK it - I just assumed he was a big WHITE grinning oaf who always wears a big RED bow tie. Hmmmmm..when you think about it - I HAVE seen those Rethug talking heads on TV shows wearing.....BOW TIES! That was the clue all along!!! Well, we'll just SEE about all this!!!
....stay tuned.....Bloggee....and wish me luck !
I'm going to have to observe him closely from now on -