Hey, psssst......Bloggee, check THIS out!! WOW!

We had a REAL CELEBRITY
RIGHT here in Snail Heights.

Me and Bob read the VERY interesting post in the fascinating "Grudge Report" this A.M. - about the proposed tear down of the Spanish hacienda so we went down to the Hall of Records and found out the exact address of the hacienda in question:

14 Meadowswallow Lane and it belonged to Dr. Hiram Walker Pickles, III who,oddly enough - we hear is now MISSING!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, with a brief trot to the Public Library where we found that the VERY same "Dr. Pickles" has QUITE a "bio." as listed in the latest edition of "Snail Heights Who's Who."


Well, after the DEED WAS DONE and the (sob...) beautiful HACIENDA was destroyed by the wrecker's cruel ball - Bobby and I left the library and went tip toeing down to the excavation site and once there we found some VERY interesting STUFF!
(See above photos!)

- But, I digress, bloggee, let's go back to when we first LOCATED the aforementioned Dr. Pickles - the little well garbed dude was crawling up the side of the patio wall gnawing through the limestone - that’s right, did you know snails can gnaw through limestone?!!!
I didn’t, ......the little creeps!!.
(How do you know ANYTHING these days? The whole WORLD seems upside down!

Anyway, the "bio" on the microfilm told us that his antennae are insured by AIG, which, of course, isn’t saying much because they are bankrupt. (My ears are insured by Lloyds of London, HAH!!!)
His "slime" (ugh!!) cannot be consumed by bacteria without special authorization from his exclusive agent, "Little Doritt". Give me a break, will ya!
But the JUICY TIDBIT is this - FURTHER digging in the much neglected microfilm archives uncovered the above photo of the so-called lower level of the RUBBLE (Note FANCY false front on the still to throw off any unwanted visitors!!
But LOOK - we found a GENUINE (illegal as hell) "STILL" - as in MOONSHINE, as in CORN PONE BOOZE (YUM!!!), as in raids by the Alcohol and Firearms Control people!!!
The secret formula uses apples and carrots and dandelion leaves. Just about all the stuff that snails LOVE and keep nagging us for all the time. Now we know what’s going on down there under the special pebbles and rocks and whatnot. HAH!! We were suckers!!
Look at what that crook, Pickles, was writing about HIMSELF!!

"The Most Interesting Snail PhD in the UNIVERSE!"

Dr. Hiram Walker Pickles -

"He doesn’t always drink Poteen, but when he does… "


WHOA!!!! Copycat!!!! Traitor!!!!!. Snotnose (and I mean that literally)!!! He's trying to copy MY "Most Interesting Dog in the World" tribute - the rat!!!

Bob says let’s not be hasty here, let’s not jump to rash judgments, it’s live and let live, OK, so he’s a little crook, blah, blah, blah, but that old brew is mighty tasty. Mighty TASTY.
And I must say he has a point there....YUM!!!!