And, finally, Bloggee, HAPPY HALLOWEEN to YOU!

Updated version!

YOW! Dr. Frankenstein is at it again!

RUN for your LIVES!

Happy HALLOWEEN, Bloggees!

OUCH!

A certain COMMENT newly entered (see below) says I'm getting LAZY sitting around googling all day, following the ELECTION and looking at PRETTY PICTURES and that I need to start up an immediate SEARCH TEAM to find "Tip 'n Tap" and those missing frogs.....

What CRUST!

Can't an adorable little 8 lb'er friggin' RELAX for a week or so and just KICK BACK???

Does he ALWAYS have to be SAVING THE FRIGGING WORLD FROM TOTAL ANNIHILATION??

SHEESH!

Happy Day Before Halloween (!)

"We love you TRULY", oh Bloggee!!

We've been through a lot together, ole Bloggee, haven't we?
Kidnapping, zombies, vampires, space aliens, ufo's, Wolfman, Norman Bates, "postage due", missing snail couple, potential whatevers, and yet you've STUCK by us - with ALL our crazy meanderings, exploits and just plain, LACK of ideas!!
Kudo's to your PATIENCE and ENDURANCE, Bloggee, and we PROMISE to make our NEXT set of adventures more interesting, more intelligent and more....BLOG WORTHY!
Thanks for "hangin' in" in there, ole girl/boy and we, absolutely, PROMISE to entertain, enthrall and, generally, make things more, well, FUN and WITTY in the future.
As we NEVER get any (friggin') FEEDBACK, Bloggee, we don't know WHAT the hell amuses you but we will try our LEVEL BEST to do so and have fun for all concerned!

Folks just can't STAND this guy!!

Go 'Bama!

Don't forget to VOTE EARLY!!

Guess who showed up, "POSTAGE DUE....?"

BOB is HOME!
YAY!! All is forgiven (sob!)

The cute little sponge showed up about 2 PM yesterday - I swiped .10 from the CHAOTIC MESS that is "her" purse and paid off the mailman.
Well,
The lil dude is none the worse for wear and NO he STILL doesn't need a bath (he's deathly afraid of water which is ODD cuz he IS a SPONGE - but we are all entitled to our little idiosyncrasies, aren't we? I betcha that YOU have LOTS of them, Bloggee, by the lOOKS of you!)
Anyway, he said the truck he hitched a ride in was a U.S. MAIL (WE *HEART* the U.S.mail!!) truck and he had plenty of time to THINK things over.
In the long run he opted to COME HOME and help me battle the SPACE ALIENS "tooth and nail"( that is, if he HAD a "tooth and nail"...) all the way back to the PLANET "PLUNKO" (We found out that's where they're from!!)

Check out my pal, "Cootchy" and his buddy!

They are hangin' together today, doing some sight seeing in DC.

Have fun, dudes!

Que es Esto??????????

While out watering my plants on the deck today, hoping to visit with my dear snail friends, "Tip" and "Tap" before they go into hiberation for the winter - I found a grungy old recipe under the table - Let me straighten it out and see what is says:

Snail Soup:

10,000 snails

1 ton of whey (carefully sifted)

4 cups sparrows

11 golden raisins

32 frog's eyes

a "smidge" of dust bunnies

1/8 teaspoon of mealy bugs

300 lbs Oscar Mayer weiners

1 set adult adenoids

30 pr of twin toads

1 medium sized yuppie

4 sofa cushions

1 42" flat screen TV

11 lbs of great toenails

18 oz belly button lint

3 Webster dictionaries

1/2 ton of warts (all sizes and colors)

Add all dry ingredients together. Stir well in large (!) caldron. Combine liquid and gelatenous stuff until completely congealed.

Mix for 3 days and 5 nights under a starless sky. Season to taste.

Serve with garlic croutons in large animal skulls. Garnish with recycled spinach and serve hot.
Feeds 2000.

Ah.....back on the couch where I belong....

Ah.....HOME at last!!! No more running and HIDING from nasty fuzzy, orange aliens from OUTER SPACE. No more being HUNGRY, etc. No more WOLFMAN or Norman Bates Motel - YIKES that place was CREEPY and had REALLY BAD sandwiches (and the newspapers DID NOT have wads of money wrapped up in them!!! SHEESH!)
Back home (sigh...) in my little night nest on the VELVET sofa, with a nice warm fire going in the fireplace, with my fave SATIN PILLOWS.
Oh, BTW, BLOGGEE - that WASN'T the right BUS!! THANKS A LOT! (I'll get you for that dear Bloggee but as I'm not leaving my house again for at least 4,000 years it will take a while....but I WILL do it - so don't think you put one over on me!!!)
Anyway, THAT dinged-up bus was going to "Slugville", Illinois so "NO THANKS!"
A nice homeless man (sniff...sniff...) told me what the RIGHT bus was so I got home at 9 last night (that reminds me, Bloggee, don't forget Daylight Saving Time change next TUESDAY - just so you don't FORGET!!)
I know "they" keep a key under the ............(censored) so I SNEAKED in and acted like "WHAT - ME RUN AWAY???? ARE YOU CRAZY????? I WAS SLEEPING UNDER THE BED THE WHOLE TIME!!!" and acted real insulted and hurt that they didn't believe me.
TEE HEE - they are so DENSE!! They, actually, believed me!! I guess they were under a "scotch haze"...hahaahhahahha.
SIGH.....it sure does feel GREAT to be home..........BUT........WHAT ABOUT SPONGEBOB?????? Holy Moses - I FERGOT ALL ABOUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
BOBBY WHERE ARE YOU????? COME HOME!!!!!!!!!!

Is THIS the "bus" you want me to take???

The one that will bring me back home???
It is?????
Well, if YOU say so, Bloggee, I'll TAKE it cuz I KNOW YOU would NEVER LIE to me or....WOULD YOU????? Hmmmmmm....one NEVER really knows someone, does ONE????
P.S.
I'm a LITTLE concerned about that ole reprobate," Spongebob."
Imagine the CRUST of him running away (again) and flipping a ride on that SEMI! He deserves WHATEVER he gets!!

BOBBY COME HOME (sniff, sniff.....sniff) - ALL IS FORGIVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooops - she was on the bus! I got off and took

a nother one!

Is this what they call "downtown" or "The LOOP"????

I'm down here on the edge of a BIG bridge!!
Its cold and the water is WAY DOWN THERE! Yikes!
Bloggee, where should I GO?
THAT way or THIS way??
OH!!!!!!!
You are saying THIS way? Hmmmmmmmm......
Are you SURE??????
Well, if you're POSITIVE......
WHAT??????? NOW you are saying I should sneak on a BUS? Which one - there are SO many????????
WHAT???????? SPEAK UP, OH BLOGGEE!! I can't HEAR YOU???
You say take a BUS?????
Hmmmmmmm....
Well, What the h*ck do I know? OK!
I'll do it!!!!

Meanwhile - back at the "ranch"....A Tale of Two Notes..

This is the note "they" posted all over Lakeview yesterday and next to it is my "new and improved" note!!
.............................................................................................................

"LOST DOG!!"
UNBELIEVABLY LARGE HUGE REWARD!!!!!!!!!!!

. 8 ADORABLE lbs .Limpid brown eyes
.SWEET disposition .Magnificent large ears
.Long WHITE, flowing hair .Swooping tail
.............................................................................................................................................................
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
A few minutes after "they" would leave one of these tear stained notes - I would TIPTOE right after and post MY note right over THEIRS! hahahhahaha - see below:
..............................................................................................................................................................
"Lost POOCH"
"FINDER'S KEEPER'S!!"

.18 chubby lbs. .Beady, shifty eyes

.Paranoid as hell . Freakish ears

.Matted dredlocks .Stubby tail with scabs

.Pretty sure he has fleas .Known liar and lush

FREE TO GUD HOME!!!

Your truly, "Bear" ("The Great White")
..............................................................................................................................................................

"Bring it on SPONGE BOY!!!"

Me and Bob had a HUGE knock down, drag out FIGHT!
Grrrrrrrrr....he makes me SOOOO MAD!
I told him I'm turning around and going BACK home and he said "NO WAY, FUR BALL!! I'm not going back there to be EATEN or DISSECTED by those DERANGED orange space-varmints!!"
Then he tried to TRIP ME and he jumped on my EAR - I don't TOLERATE THAT, you know!!
It got really UGLY!!
I don't THINK any blood (or stuffing...) was actually drawn but there are plenty of hurt FEELINGS to go around - let me tell YOU, dearest "Bloggee" (BTW, have I told you how much I *HEART" you lately????)
But, I digress....
I'm SICK of "life on the run" with no cheese, no liver, no "WATEES!!" - BOO HOOOOOOOO!!!
Bob is being REALLY MEAN!
He says he is going to go off on his own so I said "GO AHEAD and GO, SPONGE BOY!" so he turned around and scooted down the road.
"SO LONG, CHUMP!!" I hollered after him.... I watched as he moseyed down the street, trying to "hitch" a ride and, pretty soon, a semi came along and picked him up.
WHAAAA?? "BOBBY _ COME BACK!!!! I'm SORRY!!! but the truck took off and was gone before he could HEAR ME!!!
I tried to run after them but I couldn't KEEP UP!!! I don't know what to do, BLOGGEE (!) - I'm lost and SCARED and HUNGRY and THIRSTY!!!
HELP, BLOGGEE, HELP......................

"Woe is me! My CUSHY bed, my friends, my house....

Sniff....sniff....sniff..... "I wanna go HOME!!!!!!!!!!!"

Meanwhile - back at the "ranch".......... "Hi, y'all!!

"They" are looking EVERYWHERE for those two little pests!
"Oooooooh, ALIENS are coming after us -they're going to GET US!!!" so the two little babies "runned away from home." Ha! They didn't know when they had it GOOD! Two "squares" a day, silk comfortors, "top shelf" ice cubes, - they had it ALL and they BLEW IT! Good riddance, I say!! More for me!!
Him" and "her" have "Lost dog" posters on EVERY lightpole for a mile around and are burning the midnight oil again - riding the old "scotcheroo" wagon into the wee hours, crying into their brewskis wailing "WHERE DID WE GO WRONG????" HAHAHHA - they went "wrong" by going to INDIANA (!!) and coming home with the little (cough, cough...) runt!!. Boy, when Pip and the "spongeman" come home - are THEY going to be in TROUBLE!!
HAHAHAHAHHA!
Meantime, I'm sitting in the old "catbird seat" - sunning myself, getting a LOT of attention, ya....I'm DEFINITELY the ****big cheese**** around here these days!
Personally, I hope they NEVER come back. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
"Bear"

Yikes - run like HELL, he's AFTER US! You, too!!

They followed us to the Bates Motel even!!

After eating the unnatural "plastic" sandwich monstrosity, JUST as I figured,
Bob p*ked ALL OVER the bedspread.
I had to drag HIM over to the shower to TRY to wash (UGH!!!) him up when !!!!!!!!! ONE OF THEM ZOOMED down from the ceiling and made a jump at us.
Nice Mr. Bates was just coming in to cut the tags off the PILLOWCASES with a BIG, SHARP KNIFE (or so he said....) so Bob and I ran between his long, skinny legs and dashed out into the night!
I snatched him too sharply with my razor-like incisors and he gave out a YELP! - "sorry, old man but a guy's gotta do what a guy's GOTTA DO! So SHUT UP!" and I scampered outside as fast as my little rabbit legs could carry me.
I turned to the LEFT - too dark - I turned to the RIGHT - too BRIGHT - so I just raced STRAIGHT AHEAD into a farmer's field....
There were bales of hay all around and some SCARYCROWS and a big red barn. We decided to try to sleep in there for the night (we were SOOOOO tired!!!) so IN we went and just THREW ourselves down on a lump of hay!
We fell right off to sleep but, after just a FEW minutes Bob thought he HEARD something moving around behind us.
He grabbed his mini "dig cam" (which he was carrying in his teeny, tiny backpack) and sneaked back behind an old wheelbarrow - YOW (!!!!!!!!!!) LOOK WHO WAS LURKING BACK THERE - JUST READY TO SPRING ON US!!

Ewwwwwwwww!

No matter HOW hungry I am I could NEVER push whatever THIS into my little piehole. Ugh! Thanks ever so much to MISTER BATES (who wanted to stay and watch me eat it!!) but "NO THANKS!"
As soon as he left I ran into the bathroom (where I had put some of the well-place NEWSPAPER down for "you know what..." and was about to dump it into the toilet when Spongebob leaped up and snatched it from my paws!
He scooted (that's how he moves - he scoots like a little snail....tee hee....) under the bed, dragging it behind him!
I said "Bob, DON'T DO IT - YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE ITS BEEN!" but he totally ignored me and I could here him gnawing on the obscene thing.
This is going to come to a bad end - I JUST know it!! Tune in a little while - I'll let you in on how it went, dear Bloggee!

Wow! Weren't we LUCKY to find a nice place to stay!

Bob looked up "REALLY cheap motels" in the YELLOW PAGES and there was this "Bates" place.
It sounded really good:
"pick your own room, hot shower, daily newspaper (for hiding things")" and it said the manager was" friendly and that "SANDWICHES would be delivered "right to our ROOM!"
Yow, what more could we ask or BARK for??
The best thing was PAYMENT could be BARTERED for "suitable items" such as "cutlery" (whatever THAT is??) or stuff of "similar value"......
Oh well, we are SO tired - my paws are almost bloody and Bob is starting to DROOP around his middle "arf" region - so like SCARLETT, we'll "think about that tomorrow..."

Hey buddy can you spare a.....

We WALKED and RAN and WALKED some more all day yesterday. We didn't see anymore of THEM but I know they were behind us all the time.
Once of twice I thought I saw a horny ear or a stubby tail lurking behind a lamp post or a mailbox but we didn't stick around to make sure or not.
WOULD YOU????
I didn't THINK so!!!
Finally, we were so HUNGRY and THIRSTY that we turned into this diner and were forced to BEG for some cheese!!! They just threw a PLASTIC SLICE of something YELLOW at us and slammed the door in our faces!!
We dragged it over by the streetlight to see what the H*LL the thing was!!
Let me tell you it was HORRIBLE - a thin slab of rubbery SOMETHING or other with a label on it that said "Kraft American" - UGH!!
No WONDER the economy is in the "terlet" if THIS is what "Buy American" is all about!!!
Bob threw it down a street grate (we cheered to see it go!) and decided to wait til morning to eat (snif...snif...) and try to find a place to put our weary heads. Stay tuned, Bloggee!!!

Wow - look what I saw on a TV screen just now!

We were running down Lincoln Ave and peeked into Goldblatt's window - this is Obama's rally today in St. Louis! 100,000 people!
GO BAMA!

HELP!!!! We're SURROUNDED!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh woe is US! As Bob and I crept along, looking for a SAFE HAVEN, everywhere we went - they pursued us....even when we stopped to, pathetically beg (sniff...sniff...) for a mere drink of friggin' WATER at an outdoor cafe - one of the monstrous CREATURES was SITTING there -bold as you please - drinking an appletini and eating baked EGGPLANT!!
We ran like HELL - before we could get a drink. We were SO thirsty we headed for the closest water fountain and WHO do we see there - washing his filthy FEET (UGH!!!) was one of THEM!
As soon as he saw us he leaped down and chased us in hot pursuit!
We tried to lose him by running into a nearby forest. We RAN and RAN and RAN and JUST when we stopped to catch our breath (well, I mean MY breath since old Bob was holding onto my long, flowing hair, riding me like a mole on a mountain goat!) look WHO was spying on us from a hole in a tree stump!!
OFF, we flew, not knowing WHAT to do or WHERE to GO (I WANNA GO HOME!!!) Bob yelled that there was one up a tree - we were SURROUNDED!!!!!!!! (to be continued....)

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob got CARSICK after about 3 blocks (!!) so we pulled over so he could well, you know, take care of business.
Then JUST when we were getting back in the car, I saw one of THEM leap out at us from the middle of a fern thing.
Notice the HORRIBLE grin on his ugly puss!!! He flew at poor Bobby and tried to BITE him on his corner - I gave him a KICK, grabbed Bob and we both JUMPED into our AIR CAR and took off like a bat out o' HELL!!!!
I took a glance over my shoulder (Bob was driving...) and I looked all over for the hideous THINGEE and he was NO WHERE to be found? WHERE DID HE GO??
I screamed at BOB "FLOOR IT!!" but its hard to "floor" an AIR CAR as it just sort of floats along on the wind.
Hastily, we decided to DITCH the car and run on FOOT so we took off like a bat - well, you know....and ran as fast as my little legs could carry us. WHEW! It wasn't easy - with Bob in my mouth! In out great haste to get away we BOTH forgot our "suitcase" (!!) so now we have NO provisions!!!
Oh WOE IS US - WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO??? I turned around for a second and saw the little drooling fiend was still coming, slithering down the sidewalk RIGHT BEHIND US - we have to GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my ride - isn't she sweet?

Yellow on one side -white on the other!!It runs on "air" - just like it says!
There's JUST enough room for me and Bob. Sorry, dear Bloggie, you're on your own!
NOW we just have to find a place for some "grub" and to sleep tonight. Got any IDEAS?? Can we come by YOU??
Well, we have to take off, now!! We just heard the garage door open and someone TURNED the lights OFF so we have to GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!.l

What we are carrying:

Here's a list of what I'm bringing. HURRY UP and read it so I can get the h*ll out of here! (We have to RUSH and gather them cuz I see one of "them" sneaking around the "woods.")

One lemon biscotti
One binoculars
One plastic bag (for you know what!!)
One flashlight
One Platypus
One teapot
One bottle of "Eternal" water - (That's all we drink)

We're going to sneak down to the garage now (SSSHHH!) before "they" find out we're GONE!
We don't intend to hang around here and be DISSECTED in our sleep! Would you???
In fact, if I were YOU - I'd look over my shoulder to be sure YOU'RE not being FOLLOWED!

Ooooh this is funny! Run your cursor over the room.

Watch this!

Since no one will believe us - we're running away!

Now that the strange and eccentric snail "duo" is safely back in their "pot" - its ok for us to make our "getaway.
As you already know, dear Bloggee, time is of the ESSENCE when fleeing (excuse the expression!) from alien space invaders!
Here I am trying to haul my "suitcase" out the door before anyone sees me. Its REALLY HEAVY!
Its especially DIFFICULT because I have to carry old Bob in my MOUTH. Drag suitcase - pick up Bob - drag suitcase - pick up - well, you get the idea.
Tried as I will, "they" won't believe me!! We are being invaded by CREEPY aliens from OUTER SPACE. EVEN when I showed them Bob's dig cam photo's - they STILL don't believe us!! "They" said they were "Photoshopped" - did you EVER?
Like I said, deaerest, *hearted* Bloggee, its every "dog" for himself! Buh bye!!!

BIG....sigh of relief!! "Tip" and "Tap" are back home!

Rats, robins and seagulls - OH MY!

Exhibit A


Before we left (carrying only our humble luggage....sniff) we went to check on the quaint and unusually eccentric snail family living in the above plant.
WHA??????? We dug and dug as deep and fast as our little flying fists would take us and
'couldn't come up with a SINGLE snail - let alone a "mister and missus!"
And they were so pretty too - brown and white "whirleygigs" - that was their official genus per "google" and you KNOW we swear by the "googler."
We wanted to know what might looked up have beFALLEN them so we contacted our favorite malacologist , Dr. Stephanie (See Exhibit A) sitting with "him" at an outdoor cafe - and there is NO SIGN of me there and "he" KNOWS how much I *double heart* outdoor cafes!
Anyway, we ***heart*** her!
She knows everything about the little crawly critters.
Anyway, sob, sob - she said they MIGHT have been eaten by RATS, ROBINS, SEA GULLS, or......they MIGHT have been kidnapped and taken away by aliens from another PLANET!! Surely, dear "blogee" even YOU (no offense intended as you KNOW how we ***feel about YEW!) can see the whole north side of Chicago is in DIRE straights regarding danger from an unknown planet who is coming to either INVADE us or (shudder..) KIDNAP us and perform strange experiments on our........regions,
Well, "blogee" - don't say I didn't TELL YOU!! Now its every specimen for themselves -including me and Bobby - so without further adieu.....
nice knowin' ya!!

Yikes! Do you think HE might be behind the "Great FROG Disappearance?"

plus the weird plush toy landings in the "woods" behind our house???

Run for your life! They're coming, they're coming!!!!

Look - I don't have much time to "blog" today as I'm packing a few things for a quick "getaway."
As even YOU can see - we are under attack (see EXHIBIT A to your immediate left!)
This terrifying image was picked up on our 24 hr surveillance "dig cam" at EXACTLY 5:00AM this morning.
The "landing" occured in the "woods" behind our house.
No time for idle chit chat today, "blogee" (Note - I still ***HEART*** you -even though I do find you to be the TEENIEST bit aggravating this morning....) I'm on my way out the door right now and you may not hear from me for a loooooooong time as I'm pretty sure we're surrounded right now and time is of the essence!! SO LONG DEAR BLOGEE!!!!!!!!

"The OTHER day the earth stood still!"

"They" went out and left us alone ALL DAY (!!) and JUST as we were dozing off on our velvet hassock (it WAS a bit crowded with 14 of my "nearest and dearest" pals all trying to cling to the thing by tooth and claw) we began to hear a "beep beeping" and a "clink clinking" plus a loud and unmistakable WHIRRING sound coming from the back yard!!
Bob grabbed his trusty "dig cam," raced to the window, and was JUST able to snap a few shots of EXHIBIT A (to your left!)
Now can there be ANY DOUBT????
Even YOU (dear "bloggee" whom I *heart" to the "Nth degree!") can see that we FINALLY have PROOF beyond a shadow of a DOUBT - that flying saucers DO EXIST!! Do you doubt your own eyes???? I hope not, dearest "blogee" as you DO have this LIVING PROOF RIGHT in FRONT of your own eyeballs taken with our own trusty "dig cam.!
What more PROOF do you DEMAND, oh cherished "blogee???"
Can't you see it Floating right OVER our house? I certainly hope you can or you need to make an EMERGENCY appointment with your local, neighborhood optometrist - you know, the one up over the undertaker's parlor??? Ya, THAT ONE!
The slippery silvery "saucer" was only there - abeepin' and aclickin' and awhirrin' - for a second or two (I TOLD you Bob was speedy!) and then it disappeared into the afternoon fog.
Do you think it was a warning to us? Or was it SPYING on us? Or was it trying to COMMUNICATE with us or was it plotting an abduction so they could perform EXPERIMENTS on our tender "nether regions"?????? OY!!!

Lucky blog reader - I have a(nother) TREAT for you!!!

Is THIS a beautiful AND charming "person" or not?
I KNEW you would AGREE with me as, indeed, the "charm" of this "person" is, .......munificent!
May I indulge my "inner me" and say - WHAT A SPECTACULAR CUTIE!!
I TRIED my BEST to BEG "them" to buy me this "gor'gus" creature - to NO AVAIL!!! The cheap b*stards!!
He/she (it doesn't make any difference to me!) was in a window in Egg Harbor and I *hearted" him/her immediately. But no amount of wimpering, whining or wheedling would change their craggy old senior citizen minds. Cheap ^%$%**^%'s!
But I digress, dear "blogee" (if I may call you that) - almost in despair, I've begun a tentative "pen pal" correspondence with the lovely "thingee", living in the aforementioned window (see pathetic dangling price tag) but 'haven't had any response to date....sniff....sniff....

A treat for you, beloved blog reader!!

How MUCH I *HEART* you -I'm letting you look at me at my MOST adorability!

Rules:

1. Just one look.
2. NO "forwarding."
3. NO "copying and pasting."
4. NO "homepage making."
5. NO "favorite" or ""bookmarking."

OK - move along now. Remember, dearest reader - We (that is Bob, Bear, me and sundry others really HEART you!!)
Bye BYE!!!!

Move along, now......BUH BYE NOW.........BYE!!!!

Aha! The plot...thickens.....

Well, dear reader, we have decided you were NOT, as previously thought, behind the "Monkey Frog" caper. You remember, the guy whose ugly puss you see above, the one we found sipping a manhattan bold as brass the other night in Door County?. We're SORRY. God knows this blog has so few readers that we can HARDLY afford to alienate any!!
We were a little ON EDGE up there, what with the WEREWOLVES and all, and you, sadly, were a convenient scapegoat. SORRY.....can you EVER forgive our (adorable) selves???

But then, of course, we must return the the original question - WHO was responsible? Is it a filthy,dirty trick to embarress us or make us cry? Are they trying to drive us mad?
As our favorite reading matter, "The National Enquirer" always says....INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW! And we want to KNOW!
We're going to get the bottom of this. And by the way, do you notice a whole lot of stuff about monkeys lately? HMMMMMM...food for thought, isn't IT?
Well, we do, and even though this monkey appears to be another frog, there's something weird going on here.

Anyway, here's our latest theory about "Monkey Frog."
We figure he's either a "time traveler" from a different century, an "extra-terrestrial", an "inter-dimensional being"", or a spy from the McCain/Palin camp.
I know, I know, you think "GOD, this is one BORING blog about this PARANOID, pampered pooch - don't I have ANYTHING BETTER to do with my life than follow his stupid "exploits" and moronic "THOUGHTS?""
NO YOU DON'T!!! SO lets just put those toxic little ideas to bed RIGHT NOW! Following this blog is one of the most noble, self-affirming and redemptive (for society - you know, the world we are all stuck LIVING IN???) things you will EVER DO or could ever DREAM of doing!
Got IT???? OK, case CLOSED! No MORE talk like that!!!
AND, remember, we are NOT "mad" at you, I tell you, not mad at all.
In fact, dear reader, we LOVE you VERY VERY much!!!
Thank you and good day --oh, and, just to show you how much we ADORE you - the next time you "belly up" to your favorite "gin mill" - have a shot and beer on US!!
Just put it on our tab. ENJOY!!
OH - I ALMOST forgot - back to the compelling "Monkey Frog" saga!!
(Pull your chair up closer to the fireplace, light up a Pall Mall, and take a sip of your favorite libation....)

When we first arrived in Door County, me and "him" would go off exploring the coastline. Let me tell you, it was pretty scary. It was PLENTY dark and it was raining like a "sonofabee."
Then, we started to hear all these weird noises and saw strange lights - heard ominous "gurgles" and saw little water geysers jump up!
Wow - I was scared sh*tless! All of a sudden, "he" jumped about 1/2 a foot in the air and yelled that something grabbed his ankle - something STONG and SHARP!
Well, he ran like hell up the craggy stony steps and I had to follow behind him as fast as I could - which, tee hee...., was PRETTY DAMN FAST - so FAST, in fact, that I beat "HIM" into the house and was just about to slam the door in his face -(HEY - I was scared, ok!!)
But then I turned around first and spied HIM ("Monkey Frog") in the house - sipping that manhatten.That's when he must have got in the house.
Before I knew what hit me, "he" came in, FELL over me and we BOTHwound up sprawled all over the floor and when I looked up, the "Frog" was gone!! Luckily, Spongebob, also, spied him and was able to snap a couple of photos' of him.
But the querie remains, "who is he" and "WHERE did he come from?" He smelled really bad and left a little "reminder" behind - if you .....know what I mean. I just HOPE we NEVER see or SMELL him AGAIN!!

I want one - I WANT ONE!!

WOW

This is where we go to look for UFO's...

We sat here every night for hours peering into the night sky.
Bobby THOUGHT he saw "something" that was about the size of a football field and had lights all around it and was silent as a cat's hiccup - I sort of dozed off for a minute so I missed it. DRAT!!

Pssssst......got any "weed?"

Wolfbane weed , that is... Oh, YOU thought I meant that OTHER "weed" - tee hee.....
No, this is good old, werewolf killin' wolfbane.
Bob googled it up the other night and 'said we'd better get some - in case "they" come back to stalk us, again, like the other night.
We want to be prepared so we got in a bunch of GARLIC (in case they bring any vampires with them...) too.
You can never be too careful with the woods full of "you know who's."